“ Biblical Powers to Control Weather ? “ …… You have heard correctly me Stonesian Brothers and Sisters . As Emperor Xi and myself sat down for
Friday Evening drink(s) at The Brazen Head , the topic of Climate Change was on our minds . Since Xi , his Entourage and myself plan on seeing the
Rolling Stones inside the enclosed State Farm Stadium ( Phoenix , AZ ) , the Emperor questioned why other individuals are not more concerned about
the frequent heavy rains ( monsoons ? ) which so often plague the Midwest during the late Spring / early Summer Months ? After all , most of the band’s
upcoming North American Stadium Tour Dates feature cavernous Football Stadiums completely and totally exposed to the elements . I stated two words
to the Emperor , ….. “ Rain Stick ! “ ….. Emperor Xi looked at me quizzically and brayed , “ What in the FRIG are you talking about ? “
I exclaimed that Keith Richards can stop the rain with the aid of a ‘ magic voodoo stick ‘ . This rain stick ---- acquired by Keef during the bands’
frequent travels --- is often used to prevent rain before each live performance . I continued by stating that shaking the wooden object at the sky
often yields miraculous results . “ The Rain Stick is a very superstitious thing “ , I brayed . “ If it is about to pour down rain or if the band is preparing
to play outdoors and someone goes : ‘ Keith , it is raining ‘ , Keith will go outside and do a few mysterious moves ; the lack of which would disappoint
the entire crew ---- everyone relies upon the rain stick to stop the rain and the weird thing is that it WORKS ! “ Xi asked if the tradition is ALWAYS dependable
and unfortunately I had to admit that indeed the “ Rain Stick “ is NOT infallible but does work Ninety – Nine Percent of the time . Xi began to smile
and remarked the only way to guarantee perfect outdoor stadium concert weather is to have Pocahontas go out on stage one hour before each and every
gig and perform a Lil’ Dance ……….. ( “ that Lil’ Rain Dance !!!!! ………… THAT LIL’ RAIN DANCE !!!!!! “ ) . “ Hell “ , he stated , “ she could be the Opening
ACT !!!!! “ ……………….. With that all of The Emperor’s Entourage , Xi and myself began laughing so hard we literally began crying and falling off our barstools
and Rolling around like STONES all over the Brazen Head Floor !!! The Great Man ----- President Donald J. Trump ( Supreme “ PRECIOUS “ Leader ! ) would
have been proud .
Soon Bar Manager Christy appeared , opined all of us were having too much fun , and escorted Emperor Xi ( ………. with his unfinished Guinness Pint )
into the Robert Emmet Room not to be seen for the REST of the evening
“ ********* “ I LOVE YOU ALL !!!!!!!!!!!!! “ ************ “