“ I TOUCHED THE SKY !!!!!!!!!!!!! “ ……………………………. No , our beloved Pocahontas has NOT suspended her dull nascent campaign . What
I AM talking about is the Lagavulin 25 ( “ Laga 25 “ ) ; a magnificently rich and well – aged expression of the Islay Distillery that earns
my HIGHEST mark to date .
Me Stoneslings , we have upon us what I describe as one of the greatest whiskies your young Joey has had the pleasure of tasting .
Yes , it is rare ( …………. 8,000 bottles worldwide ) and very expensive ( ……………. around $ 1,200 a bottle ) and most human beings will
never have the chance to try it ----- unless , of course , Emperor Xi and his Entourage arrive into town Friday Evening at the Brazen Head .
But please do not take my word ……. let us hear Xi himself purrfectly review this lovely young lady :
Nose : “ A nice smell ; soft with a delicate caramelized sweetness ---- your hands glide over the new tires whilst their profiles have dug into the moor ;
the blossoming Erika crushes and iodine – brown bog water pushes out of the ground whilst the old wooden door squeaks ; wood smoke and the smell
of salty ham await you as the sugar is brown and shiny ; your fingers rub Erika into the sweet mass shiny slips the liquid sweet caramel on the ham -- your
mouth is wet . “ Taste : “ The silk can be smoky and snappy whilst silky sweet caramel stokes your tongue -- the touch ignites a spicy fire ; your palate tastes
like a cool wood smoke as dry chocolate powder dissolves slowly in the sweet caramel –the old wooden door squeaks ; You can smell the crushed Erika in the moor . “
Finish : “ Relatively long chocolate caramel sweet wood smoke ; ashes , drying . “ Emotional
Soon , Emperor Xi and myself began a deep discussion ( …. whilst downing Guinness Pints in between sips of the lovely “ Laga 25 “ ) upon the ramifications
of the last government shutdown . I explained how The Great Man ---- President Donald J. Trump ( “ PRECIOUS “ LEADER ! ) made his point and instituted the
‘ smart move ‘ by ending the shutdown before planes began to run into each other on the tarmac(s) . Xi concurred by stating , “ approval ratings mean nothing
until the week before the election . “ I agreed and remarked to The Emperor how back in the fall of 1983 , whilst your young Joey was just a fresh – faced
nineteen year old college sophomore assiduously studying psychology and political science courses along the beautifully manicured , Oak Tree Lined
gradients of Creighton Yard , then Saint President Ronald Reagan decided to send in the Marines to beautiful downtown Beirut , Lebanon . Within days a truck bomb
exploded and killed nearly three hundred United States Troops . Reagan skillfully cut his losses , pulled out all soldiers within four months , and watched his approval
ratings skyrocket via “ Morning Again in America ! “ ; culminating in a nearly Fifty State Landslide re-election victory . Xi brayed , “ Does former Vice President
Joe Biden still give you the ‘ 2020 Shakes ‘ ? “ I nodded and mentioned how Loyalty can be a two – way street --- Joe Biden was a very loyal soldier to former
President Barack Obama and all the Obama supporters / voters will remember and thus reward such loyalty . Throw in the precious 2020 white male voter and
we could very well have a serious and REAL challenge eighteen months from now .
Xi was about to speak when all of a sudden Assistant Bar Manager Heather walked up behind The Emperor , gave him a BIG HUG whilst whispering something
in his ear and the two of them promptly “ disappeared “ into the Robert Emmett Room not to be seen again for the rest of the night ........ with the " Laga 25 " .... of course