"Pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name."
Hmm, what do you mean, Mick, you hope we guessed
your name? You told us your name in the song. Lucifer.
I mean, the title of the song is Sympathy For The DEVIL.
What is there to guess?
Yet, even after repeating the "hope you guessed" line
quite a few times, there Mick is again, in the outro, over
and over again, taunting us, "Tell me, baby, what's my
name?"
Why is Mick singing that? It makes no sense. We know
his name.
And then there's the second part of the "guess" line:
"But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game."
Hmm, nobody is puzzled by the nature of the Devil's
game. The Devil's game is very straightforward. He
wants you to give in to temptation and screw up so badly
that God rejects you completely and you burn in hell
forever. It's simple. No puzzle there.
Hmm, speaking of God, now THERE is a guy whose
game people often say they are puzzled by. It's the
age-old theological question: "If God is all-good and
all-powerful, why does he sometimes allow terrible things
to happen, likewars and assassinations and tsunamis?"
Another way people say it is, "Why does God allow bad
things to happen to good people?" And in one way or
another every religion has to deal with these questions.
So, yes, strange as it may sound, I am saying that I think
the name of the narrator of the song Sympathy For The
Devil is "God".
Wait, please, hear me out. I actually have ten more reasons
for thinking this.
One: Mick as much as says so. "Just as every cop is a
criminal" (that's not true), "and all the sinners saints" (that's
not true either), "as heads is tails" (not just false, but the
exact opposite), "just call me Lucifer" (equally false, and
also I believe intentionally the exact opposite of the truth).
Two: With regard to the line "I was there when Jesus Christ
had his moment of doubt", well, although the Devil was
specifically with Jesus twice, once in the wilderness and
once in the garden at Gethsemane, on neither occasion
did Jesus express any doubt whatsoever. On the contrary,
he was a pillar of certitude both times. Jesus had his moment
of doubt later, on the cross. And who was there at that moment?
Who did Jesus speak to?
Jesus: "My GOD, my GOD, why hast thou forsaken me?"
Three: With regard to "Or I'll lay your soul to waste", actually,
Satan has no power to lay anyone's soul to waste. He has only
the power of temptation. Your soul can be laid to waste by only
two entities: You, by giving in to temptation, and GOD, by smiting
you if and when He feels like it. Check out the the Old Testament
for numerous warnings and examples of GOD's god-awful temper.
Four: With regard to, "I made damn sure that Pilate washed his
hands and sealed his fate", note, there is no mention in the Bible
of Satan or temptation having anything to do with Pilate's decision.
But in John 19:10-11, guess who is cited by Jesus as having Pilate
on a string?
Pilate: "Knowest thou not that I have power to crucify thee?"
Jesus: "Thou couldest have no power at all against me except it
were given thee from above." From GOD.
Five: With regard to, "I killed the Czar... Anastasia (the Czar's
daughter) screamed in vain," here's a quote from a short bio of
Czar Nicholas II (
www.geocities.com/Vienna/9463/nicholas.html):"Nicholas was extremely spiritual in nature as was his wife and
children... Nicholas believed that all that happened to him was
GOD's will and therefore never attempted to alter what he
considered his fate."
Six: With regard to, "I rode a tank, held a general's rank, when
the blitzkrieg raged", please click the following link to read the
entirety of General George Patton's extraordinary letter to GOD
(Favorite excerpt: "You (GOD) have to choose which side you
are on. You must come to my aid, so that I can kill the entire
German army, and offer it like a birthday gift to the Baby Jesus."
[ardennes44.free.fr].
Seven: With regard to "While your kings and queens fought for
ten decades for the GODs they made", well, that's pretty self-
explanatory. I'll only add that the Hundred Years War's most
famous leader and combatant, Joan of Arc, was completely
motivated by visions of and from GOD.
Eight: With regard to "Who Killed the Kennedys", here is Bobby
Kennedy's favorite (according to Bobby's son) quotation from
Abraham Lincoln: "I know there is a GOD and that He hates
injustice. I see the storm coming and I see GOD's hand in it.
If GOD has a place and a part for me, I am ready."
Nine: With regard to "I lay traps for troubadours who get killed
before they reach Bombay", well, this clearly is a warning to
20th-21st century singer-songwriters to be careful about launching
themselves on messianic Crusades, in the name of GOD, as did
their 11th-13th century counterparts, the original troubadours, with
often disasterous results.
Ten: In a very famous Biblical passage (Exodus 3:13-14), Moses
asks GOD what his name is, so that Moses will be able to tell the
children of Israel exactly who it is that is suddenly issuing all these
orders. And GOD replies, "I AM THAT I AM. Thus shalt thou say
unto the children of Israel, I AM has sent me unto you." The names
Yahweh, Jehovah, and Jah all derive from the original Hebrew
for "I AM".
Well, I just played Sympathy, and I count (in its contracted form,
"I'm", and its implied form, as in "(I am) pleased to meet you"
at least 8 uses of the phrase "I am".
Hmm, okay, but then why is the song called Sympathy For The
DEVIL?
Because to be fair you really ought to have some sympathy for
the Devil because the Devil often gets the blame for stuff that GOD
causes, or at least allows to happen, or that people allow to happen
to themselves. And the Stones certainly had sympathy for the Devil
at that time in their lives, as they were similarly being unfairly blamed
for all kinds of things that were none of their doing.
Its funny to think how everyone considered Mick audacious for invoking the
voice of Satan. How much more audacious of him to instead be
ever-so-slyly invoking the voice of God Almighty?
Mick's forty year old puzzle, "Guess my name", is hereby solved.