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Saint Sway

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The Stage Banter Olympics
Jul 16^th, 2009 at 1:41pm

I'm off to The Big Easy... but b4 I go I'll leave y'all with this to fight over...

THE STAGE BANTER OLYMPICS

Pitting R&R's best talkative frontman against each other in a yap off for the ages.

featuring:

David "Look at all these people" Roth

Vs.

Keith "Its good to be here, good to be anywhere" Richards

Vs.

Jeff "this show deserves an asterik because I'm steroids" Tweedy

Vs.

Chris "Don't crowd sure in here - this ain't no fuckin Smashin Pumpkin concert" Robinson

Vs.

Mick "I think I busted a button on my trousers" Jagger

Vs. well anyone else you want to add in.

Just pick your favorite and post his best stage banter here

enjoy,

Sway

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Starbuck

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Re: The Stage Banter Olympics
Reply #1 - Jul 16^th, 2009 at 2:01pm

this is your farewell post?

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"Why would any sane person want to leave Rocks Off? If you have an issue outside of Rocks Off, handle it. When you return it will be as if you never have left. Once you are here-it's expected you stay. Why waste long cultivated posting skills somewhere else? The outside world will not understand." -Nellie

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Saint Sway Rocks Off Regular Offline Rocks Off Rules You Bastards Posts: 2,356	Re: The Stage Banter Olympics Reply #2 - Jul 16^th, 2009 at 2:08pm Starbuck wrote on Jul 16^th, 2009 at 2:01pm: this is your farewell post? Nah. Its only a Brett Favre-esque farewell post. I'll be unwantingly back in a week
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Tumbled Rocks Off Regular Offline Posts: 1,206 Gender:	Re: The Stage Banter Olympics Reply #3 - Jul 16^th, 2009 at 6:51pm ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh babeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees i gotta get some i gotta get some..
Back to top	Remember to keep your nose to the grindstone, your shoulder to the wheel, your feet on the ground, your eye on the ball, your ear to the ground, your finger on the pulse, your head on your shoulders, the pedal to the metal, a song in your heart, your hand on the helm and the bull by the horns IP Logged

ijwthstd

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Re: The Stage Banter Olympics
Reply #4 - Jul 17^th, 2009 at 2:42pm

Sean Wheeler hands down. When that dude gets on a roll, the music is secondary. When he does the acoustic shows with Zander Schloss, it's more interesting to hear what he's going to say while Zander is tuning than what they might play.

Or another runner up for best ever would be Leonard of the Dickies.

Most of Axl's temper tantrums are tedious but some are legendary.

Bruce Dickinson Greek Theatre 7/30/99 - "Hey mister spot light man, you having a spliff up there or just on prozac like everybody else in this fucking country."

Scott Drake "Hey mister soundman man, turn down the lights and turn up the audience."

Eddie Spaghetti of the Supersuckers, Mark Arm from Mudhoney, sometimes the Melvins or David Yow of Jesus Lizard.

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« Last Edit: Jul 17^th, 2009 at 5:22pm by ijwthstd »

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Child of the Moon Rocks Off Regular Offline Plug in, flush out, and fire the fuckin' feed... Posts: 253 In the timbers of Fennario Gender:	Re: The Stage Banter Olympics Reply #5 - Jul 17^th, 2009 at 4:59pm Bob Weir, with the infamous "Yeller Dog" story. "I'd like to take this opportunity to y'all a sto-reh..."
Back to top	"[What does God look like?] Probably a very insignificant little creature. Probably invisible. I don't think he needs a look. And I tell you , if he has one, he'd probably look like me."&&&&"[What fantasy do I still have to fulfill?] Fucking God! Ha, ha!"&&&&-Keith Richards&&&& IP Logged

Riffhard

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Re: The Stage Banter Olympics
Reply #6 - Jul 17^th, 2009 at 5:53pm

I always loved the Bono story from a show in Glasgow, Scotland a few years back. It seems that Saint Bono was addressing the crowd in his typical holier than thou attitude. The story goes that Bono was clapping his hands once every couple of seconds and then told the crowd, "Everytime I clap my hands a child dies in Africa from a preventable disease." At this point someone from close to the stage shouted back, "Then stop clapping you evil bastard!"

God that's great! I only hope it's true.

Riffy

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&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&"When all government...in little as in great things, shall be drawn to Washington as the center of all power, it will render powerless the checks provided...” Thomas Jefferson&&&&"Government big enough to supply everything you need is big enough to take everything you have. The course of history shows us that as a government grows, liberty decreases." — Thomas Jefferson&&&&&&&&We're not old men.We don't bother about petty morals--Keef&&&&Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth. &&-- George Burns&&&&&&I ain't no leftist!-Bob Dylan&&&&"In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a brave and scarce

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StPeteStone Rocks Off Regular Offline Rocks Off Rules You Bastards Posts: 828 Madeira Beach, Florida Gender:	Re: The Stage Banter Olympics Reply #7 - Jul 17^th, 2009 at 7:18pm http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjW9UXoKU2s
Back to top	Now I don't mind choppin' wood, and I don't care if ma money's no good. Ya take what ya need and ya leave the rest, But they should never have taken the very best. &&&&&& IP Logged

Some Guy Resident Cretin Offline Posts: 15,828 Atlanta Gender:	Re: The Stage Banter Olympics Reply #8 - Jul 20^th, 2009 at 7:56am It's no holds BBQ time then- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBuQ2Ob0bG4
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Gazza

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Re: The Stage Banter Olympics
Reply #9 - Jul 20^th, 2009 at 8:05am

Riffhard wrote on Jul 17^th, 2009 at 5:53pm:

I always loved the Bono story from a show in Glasgow, Scotland a few years back. It seems that Saint Bono was addressing the crowd in his typical holier than thou attitude. The story goes that Bono was clapping his hands once every couple of seconds and then told the crowd, "Everytime I clap my hands a child dies in Africa from a preventable disease." At this point someone from close to the stage shouted back, "Then stop clapping you evil bastard!"

God that's great! I only hope it's true.

Riffy

I was at that show and I honestly dont remember him saying that. I've heard that story a few times and I think its apocryphal, unfortunately, although its bloody excellent.

Warren Zevon was always pretty good with self deprecating one-liners any time I saw him. Introducing "Reconsider Me" - 'this is my new single...........I bet that's got George Michael worried sick...", or commenting that he'd had to cancel a few recent shows due to flu and then realising that the audience was unaware of this, "Oh I see that news of my illness hasnt appeared on Reuters yet.."

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StPeteStone Rocks Off Regular Offline Rocks Off Rules You Bastards Posts: 828 Madeira Beach, Florida Gender:	Re: The Stage Banter Olympics Reply #10 - Jul 20^th, 2009 at 10:02am Some Guy wrote on Jul 20^th, 2009 at 7:56am: It's no holds BBQ time then- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBuQ2Ob0bG4 Do your best Jagger.
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Saint Sway Rocks Off Regular Offline Rocks Off Rules You Bastards Posts: 2,356	Re: The Stage Banter Olympics Reply #11 - Jul 22^nd, 2009 at 12:31pm Lets just watch this and declare Diamond Dave the winner.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKTc9VaNIiI&feature=related
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Some Guy Resident Cretin Offline Posts: 15,828 Atlanta Gender:	Re: The Stage Banter Olympics Reply #12 - Jul 22^nd, 2009 at 12:36pm Saint Sway wrote on Jul 22^nd, 2009 at 12:31pm: Lets just watch this and declare Diamond Dave the winner.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKTc9VaNIiI&feature=related
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Saint Sway Rocks Off Regular Offline Rocks Off Rules You Bastards Posts: 2,356	Re: The Stage Banter Olympics Reply #13 - Jul 22^nd, 2009 at 12:39pm Its almost unfair... "Don't throw water bottles at me or I'll fuck your girlfriend" -- is a really tough one to beat.
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Some Guy Resident Cretin Offline Posts: 15,828 Atlanta Gender:	Re: The Stage Banter Olympics Reply #14 - Jul 22^nd, 2009 at 12:51pm after cleaning and scraping, recleaning and rescraping. I basically rolled one from an empty bag.
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Saint Sway

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Re: The Stage Banter Olympics
Reply #15 - Jul 22^nd, 2009 at 1:04pm

Some Guy wrote on Jul 22^nd, 2009 at 12:51pm:

after cleaning and scraping, recleaning and rescraping. I basically rolled one from an empty bag.

"...it smells like someone got ripped off... YOU BOUGHT A BAG OF HAIR!!"

"You know whats really fucked up about that thoug is some people I know... you can really catch a buzz from smoking their hair!"

"I don't want to know about it though... I'm a dad."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqFiw3-M_44&feature=PlayList&p=B545EC56DC196223&i...

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Throwaway Rocks Off Regular Offline Posts: 826 MD Gender:	Re: The Stage Banter Olympics Reply #16 - Jul 22^nd, 2009 at 1:17pm VH story in the latest Classic Rock magazine. They talk about all the 16 and 17 year old girls backstage...
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Some Guy Resident Cretin Offline Posts: 15,828 Atlanta Gender:	Re: The Stage Banter Olympics Reply #17 - Jul 22^nd, 2009 at 1:44pm Throwaway wrote on Jul 22^nd, 2009 at 1:17pm: VH story in the latest Classic Rock magazine. They talk about all the 16 and 17 year old girls backstage... good looking out
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Saint Sway Rocks Off Regular Offline Rocks Off Rules You Bastards Posts: 2,356	Re: The Stage Banter Olympics Reply #18 - Jul 22^nd, 2009 at 1:49pm Throwaway wrote on Jul 22^nd, 2009 at 1:17pm: VH story in the latest Classic Rock magazine. They talk about all the 16 and 17 year old girls backstage... Wolfie should be able to let his friends and classmates hang out backstage with out those old geezers whining about it to the press.
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Some Guy

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Re: The Stage Banter Olympics
Reply #19 - Jul 22^nd, 2009 at 1:56pm

Saint Sway wrote on Jul 22^nd, 2009 at 1:04pm:

Some Guy wrote on Jul 22^nd, 2009 at 12:51pm:

after cleaning and scraping, recleaning and rescraping. I basically rolled one from an empty bag.

"...it smells like someone got ripped off... YOU BOUGHT A BAG OF HAIR!!"

"You know whats really fucked up about that thoug is some people I know... you can really catch a buzz from smoking their hair!"

"I don't want to know about it though... I'm a dad."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqFiw3-M_44&feature=PlayList&p=B545EC56DC196223&i...

It's like a circus. Noisy crowd..no intimacy. where's Marc? I don't hear that sound where it belongs...Chris sounds good, no doubt. The lighting is annoying too. It just all seems like a crowd I wouldn't want to be in. How much do you have to pay to get into one of these shows? Probably too much.
Don't even care for a miracle.
Is Chris wearing shoes here?

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Saint Sway Rocks Off Regular Offline Rocks Off Rules You Bastards Posts: 2,356	Re: The Stage Banter Olympics Reply #20 - Jul 22^nd, 2009 at 2:13pm Some Guy, While your DVD is on back order, can you please transcribe this interview for me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQH93mByWsw&feature=related
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Saint Sway

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Re: The Stage Banter Olympics
Reply #21 - Jul 22^nd, 2009 at 2:29pm

A funny tale from Jeff Tweedy about discovering he's vacationing directly next to his ex-bandmates room...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukOEXaGIQLw&feature=related

Tweedy has certainly mastered the art of stage banter. But I gotta give props to my boy Some Guy when he shouted out "PLAY SOMETHING I KNOW" at this Atlanta gig...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhn9rJdm5CQ&feature=related

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Saint Sway Rocks Off Regular Offline Rocks Off Rules You Bastards Posts: 2,356	Re: The Stage Banter Olympics Reply #22 - Jul 22^nd, 2009 at 3:06pm DO YOUR BEST JEFF TWEEDY Eddie Van Halen: "Go ahead Dave - do your best Jeff Tweedy!".... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIqeqrX77JY&feature=related
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Saint Sway

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Re: The Stage Banter Olympics
Reply #23 - Jul 23^rd, 2009 at 12:57pm

Starbuck is running away in the Poll !

No surprise really when you look back at some of his classic stage raps...

like this one... at his Beatle Bands legendary performance at Gloria Rosenfeld's '10th Annual Tupperware & Cosmopolitan Party' at the Bloomington Sheraton Great Lakes Room

who could forget this opening remark...

"WOO!!!! LOOK AT ALL THE MOM JEANS HERE TONIGHT!!!"

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« Last Edit: Jul 23^rd, 2009 at 1:59pm by Saint Sway »

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Saint Sway Rocks Off Regular Offline Rocks Off Rules You Bastards Posts: 2,356	Re: The Stage Banter Olympics Reply #24 - Jul 23^rd, 2009 at 2:43pm Starbuck... performing at the Yavi Goldstein Bris Party... "On behalf of the group and myself, I hope we passed the circumcision"
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Poll
Question: Which rocker is the reigning King of stage banter?
David Lee Roth Mick Jagger Jeff Tweedy Axl Rose Eddie Spaghetti Chris Robinson Keith Richards Bob Weir Bob Dylan the guy who plays with Zander Starbuck (aka 'the cute one') The Edge ~ while riding a bike Bill Wyman Mick Mars Buckethead Teller Charlie Watts Sammy Hagar Yoko Ono Obama Bono Pete Townsend Simon Townsend Wolfgang Van Halen « Last Modified by: Saint Sway on: Jul 24^th, 2009 at 11:55am »