April 27, 2009, 12:45 pm

By David Kelly
Dmitry Lovetsky/Associated Press

Keith RichardsOn May 5, just in time for Mother’s Day, Bloomsbury will publish “What Would Keith Richards Do? Daily Affirmations From a Rock ‘n’ Roll Survivor.” The author, Jessica Pallington West, writes in the introduction:

The Tao of Keith is one of humanity, of seeing with clarity and looking at the bigger picture of history and culture. There is a respect for the mystical and a reverence for the creative. … He’s rock ‘n’ roll matured, a visionary and a rogue: a prophet minstrel who’s walked through fire. … With Keith, we have a new form of guru: a modern, streetwise, urban guru.

It’s instructive to browse through the book looking for long-forgotten or never-before-heard Keithisms. Jagger may have written most of the lyrics, but his longtime partner has a way with words too.

Keith the fatalist: “Altamont, it could only happen to the Stones, man. Let’s face it — it wouldn’t happen to the Bee Gees.”

Keith the strict constructionist: “There’s nothing wrong with the gun. It’s the people who are on the trigger. Guns are an inanimate object. A heroin needle’s an inanimate object. It’s what’s done with it that’s important.”

Keith the historian: “That Adolf. What a piece of work.”

Keith the nutritionist: “Cheese is very wrong.”

Keith the fantasist: “I’ve never turned blue in someone else’s bathroom. I consider that the height of bad manners.”

Keith the athlete: “When I was a junkie I used to be able to play tennis with Mick, go to the toilet for a quick fix and still beat him.”

Keith the scientist: “I looked upon myself as a laboratory.”

Keith the film critic (on Godard): “He was out of his depth in England. Like William the Conqueror.”

Keith the music critic (on the Beatles): “They were exactly what was needed. It was a great enema.”

Keith the fashionista: “I reckon our style came direct from the Three Stooges.”

Keith the contemplative: “Mine is a very nebulous spirituality.”

Keith the metaphysician: “It seems strange that we do the same thing with the same boys all these years later. But it’s like when you get drunk at a bar and wonder later how you got home. You know where you are — you’re home — but how did you get there? That’s the mystery.”

http://www.amazon.com/What-Would-Keith-Richards-Affirmations/dp/1596916141/ref=s...

when and where is her book signing?

i have to disagree with keith on this cheese is not a good thing idea.  i love cheese.  cheese cheese cheese.  cheese please.  say cheese.

Some Guy wrote on Apr 29^th, 2009 at 4:20pm:



some dog?

Some Guy wrote on Apr 29^th, 2009 at 4:27pm:



some dude?

Some Guy wrote on Apr 29^th, 2009 at 4:20pm:


Is the dog barkilicous? 

mojoman wrote on Apr 29^th, 2009 at 5:46pm:


The dogsandwich pic is upsetting.