So, for whatever reason, I don't post here a whole lot any more... it's nothing to do with anyone here, by any means. But with the comparative lack of Stones activity for the last few years, and with my own life speeding by faster than I can count the days... well, let's just say it doesn't leave much time or desire to get into the kinds of discussions I used to - and do still - love: those regarding the Greatest Rock and Roll Band in the World.
I go through periods, just like anyone else, where I listen very heavily to one or two certain artists, often to the near-exclusion of anything else. Sometimes your fever for a certain band or singer or whatever runs its natural course, and you move on to something else just so the love doesn't go stale, for lack of a better phrase. Having been a Stonesfan for the better part of thirteen years now - almost half my life at this point! - it's to be expected that I'll let my jets cool for a period while I explore other sounds. I always, of course, come back to the Rolling Stones, like the proverbial prodigal son, seeking solace or whatever.
The boys and their music have helped me through many a difficult time, as I'm sure most of you can relate to. Hell, if it wasn't for the Stones, I just straight-up
wouldn't be here now. I can't easily describe what the Stones mean to me, because it just... it transcends simple words. I pride myself on being more-than-competent in my handle on the English language, always using my words to solve problems or relate what may be on my mind. But with the Stones? Shit... I can't even begin to say what it is I feel. It doesn't just come down to their music, or to the members of the band, or how they've changed the cultural landscape... it encompasses all of that. And it, well... I guess it just comes down to the fact that, when I've needed a friend and no one was around to help, the Stones have been there for me. That's the best way I can describe it.
I've been in a serious relationship for nearly four years now. It's helped me to grow as a person, to see life in so many new and different lights. It certainly has seen its share of ups and downs, but the two of us have always been quite serious about one another. It's been sort of a foregone conclusion that we'll see the altar someday. But lately, things have been changing, with many professional and personal upheavals going down. We've done our best to be there for one another - and our six-year-old Newfoundland - but it's just hard sometimes with schedules and things like that. Anyway, long-standing issues with our lives and interests have always been a sore spot of contention for us, and more than once things have come to a head. She doesn't, I feel, understand who I am a lot of the time, and she resents me for it. She resents the things I love to do, the things I think and say... it comes down to a fundamental problem with me as a person.
There's a lot more I could go into, but I don't really want to hang my dirty laundry out to dry like that. Over the last few days, it's looked like our relationship is hanging precariously on the edge of complete meltdown. I don't want this, obviously - I love her, I love the life we've built together, and I want to continue to build. It's hard for me to reconcile my desire to patch things up and my anger and bitterness over the situation, and knowing that there's really nothing I can do about it at this point - the fact that the ball is firmly in her court - is just killing me.
So it seemed like a good time to return to the Rolling Stones.
It's funny... you're away from this great source of comfort for so long, and when you come back, it's as if you never spent time apart. You forget how you can channel your emotions, no matter what they may be, into the music, and feel that much better when the song is over. Thankfully, my love for the Stones has never been a source of contention in this relationship; it seems to be one of the few things that she understands about me at this point.
I don't know why I'm spilling all of this information in such a fashion - I guess I just needed to get it off my chest to someone. ANYONE. I figured fellow Stonesfans would understand at least some of it. I suppose I'm just at that point in my life again when I really need a friend or two. Thanks for listening to this stream-of-consciousness midnight ramble.