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ROCKS OFF - The Rolling Stones Message Board › GENERAL › MAIN BOARD › Hit The Road

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Hit The Road (Read 519 times)

Copsnrobbers Rocks Off Regular Offline Rocks Off Rules You Bastards Posts: 222	Hit The Road Jul 6^th, 2010 at 7:18pm Hello... sorry I'm late
Back to top	« Last Edit: Jul 6^th, 2010 at 10:11pm by Copsnrobbers » IP Logged

Copsnrobbers Rocks Off Regular Offline Rocks Off Rules You Bastards Posts: 222	Re: Hit The Road Reply #1 - Jul 6^th, 2010 at 7:31pm A rock ‘n’ roll tour is unnatural. You’re moving through time and space too fast. The experience is extreme.
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Edith Grove Rocks Off Regular Offline Disco STILL sucks! Posts: 12,336 New Orleans Gender:	Re: Hit The Road Reply #2 - Jul 6^th, 2010 at 7:40pm Welcome to the neighborhood !!
Back to top	“What rap did that was impressive was to show there are so many tone-deaf people out there,” he says. “All they need is a drum beat and somebody yelling over it and they’re happy. There’s an enormous market for people who can’t tell one note from another.” - Keef IP Logged

Copsnrobbers

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Re: Hit The Road
Reply #3 - Jul 6^th, 2010 at 8:09pm

Hi Edith Grove thanks..." Lesson One
"How to Manufacture your Rock Stars Goo goo g'joob,"
Manipulate the press minimize the possibility from them ever
seeing the band cultivate the press from the instant
invoke your own useless Hype suddenly
you have become a novelty a gimmick"

Lesson Two
Establish the brand name but at all coast prevent them ( the band )
from playing those middle age rock n roll tent revivals
And make doubly sure it was the band that got blamed
for not showing up.

Post on their website a blurry image and as the caption
include fun elements such as ill background stories on
the writing of each song,a page of ‘Fast Facts’ about each one,
and ice breaker questions, features, website lists for locating
rock n roll study tools,
information on each member.

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Copsnrobbers

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Re: Hit The Road
Reply #4 - Jul 6^th, 2010 at 8:26pm

Lesson Three
"How to sell Your over sixty rock n roll tent band
Find yourself a lawyer that has no interest in the rapture
or the soundtrack to The rapture But that he is purely
interested in making money.

He's your man!
(I wanna be your man please hold my hand)
Also assert in developing the highest price, and that he never never!
Stray into the record company , Now begins the task of
interesting the record co. on your own terms and get
them to start fighting and bidding
against each other for the group in fact a group that can’t
play is better then a group that can
The enormous potential of a band that can’t play
is unless in this scenario.

Lesson Four
DO NOT PLAY DON’T GIVE THE GAME AWAY!
Now you’re in the most powerful position of all
one in which you are able to sign with most prestigious record
company in the WORLD!
But don’t commit until the last minute forget about the
future get the most money as possible sign on the
dotted line through a big Tent Revival party not for
you but for the them make sure it’s a spectacle an
important event for them Than be as obstructive as possible
in order to fulfill the record company dream that they
obtain the bargain of the century and get kick out of
the premises with out ever playing a note . BRILLIANCES !

Leson Five
How to seal as much money as Quickly as possible
From the record company of your choice Next step
To get released from the company as fast as possible
give them any excuse but just make sure you
Rip them off for as much as you can
Remind them of the group bad proclivities and
Misbehavior

Lesson Six
How to become the world greatest tourist attraction Firstly
never trust a hippie and that horrible music they use as a
crutch with those bleedly hearts of stone rock songs like
"Grandmother's Little Helper""Bypass Surgery for the Devil"
"Gimme Assisted Living Shelter"
"You Can't Always Get the Prescription Drugs You Want" "No Sugar"
"When the Hip Goes Down"
"Faraway Eyeglasses" "Start My Pacemaker Up" "Time is NOT on My Side"
THESE SONGS SPEAKER FOR THEMSELVES they will wreak
of yesteryears some day in the future

look for the current event If you play your cards right
you can capture the imagination of the world , imagine
you couldn’t hear this band play, you couldn’t see or hear them on the radio
if you wanted to buy the record it was impossible >
yet the group had become public enemy number one
To the sic fends leading the charge of decency .

« Last Edit: Jul 6^th, 2010 at 8:45pm by Copsnrobbers »

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Copsnrobbers

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Re: Hit The Road
Reply #5 - Jul 6^th, 2010 at 9:09pm

Lesson Seven
Cultivate hatred it is your greatest asset get the public
to hate you .

Throw the groups name away and leave a question mark
in it’s place. Create confusion Say the band may surely
fail to turn up at certain gigs spread false rumors where
they will show up encourage their fans to travel all over
the bloody country without never having the slightest chance
of ever seeing the band play

But above all
Prevent the liberal press or the right wing fringe
from deciding if the band could actually play .

Lesson Eight how to diversify your Pop Rock Star Status
Why remain just a rock star ? expand your business
of being a Rock Star But, Don’t think in millions think in
billions dollars baby!
And hundreds and thousands of them too.

Start up local offices
and bank accounts over seas a world organization ,
it might be difficult to avoid the temptation of working
with criminals engaged in embezzling huge sums of money
from international wealthy corporations

(Hi mom!)
Lesson Nine
Taking civilization to the bloody barbarians who invented rock n roll
Be as abusive in your application at the embassy insuring that the visa’s
would be refused if Not , blame it on the Bloody Press and those
damn hippie liberals demanding freedom of speech the
idea here is to get lost In the super market spread
lies about your contagious decease!
Give a press conference at the deli and announce
the Band has broken up expose the lead singer paint him
as a collaborator , and enemy combatant explain that in order
to get everything you have to sacrifice something

Lesson Ten
Start up your own record label and on the first day of job fire the lot of them.

Lessons from The Sex Pistols rule book.

« Last Edit: Jul 6^th, 2010 at 9:27pm by Copsnrobbers »

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Voodoo Chile in Wonderland Unholy Trinity Admin Offline The Stones are back you bastards!!!! Posts: 17,957 Wonderland Gender:	Re: Hit The Road Reply #6 - Jul 6^th, 2010 at 9:18pm Welcome Copsnrobbers You rock!! What a GREAT way to introduce yourself to the Rocks Off Mental Hospital Thanks a lot !
Back to top	I only get my rocks off while I'm sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeping with your girlfriend!! IP Logged

Heart Of Stone Rocks Off Regular Offline Rocks Off Rules Posts: 4,001 Charlottetown Prince Edward Is Gender:	Re: Hit The Road Reply #7 - Jul 7^th, 2010 at 8:20am Welcome! that is very well done!
Back to top	The Rolling Stones ain't just a group, their a way of life-Andrew Loog Oldham. [URL=http://s6.photobucket.com/user/merrillm123/media/69inLA.jpg.html] IP Logged

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