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IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc) (Read 1,568 times)
Starbuck
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IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Feb 17th, 2010 at 7:25pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
OK...my apologies for the irrelevance of this post. it's late, my kids haven't slept in about 9 months, and i'm a bit gassy from drinking "fresca" as of late (zero calories...the "summer of starbuck" starts in a few months and i want to look my best, goddamnit)....

i'm teaching a lesson on conditional sentences tomorrow and i need as many famous conditional sentences/quotes as i can think of. all i have so far are:

-if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
-catch me if you can.
-if you build it, he will come.
-if the shoe fits, wear it.

this has to be something very ordinary...something that a high school kid would recognize. i was thinking about using "if you come to a fork in the road, take it", but my kids will most likely not know who yogi berra is.

TIA.
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Some Guy
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #1 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 7:26pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
there's always next year....
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Starbuck
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #2 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 7:40pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
Some Guy wrote on Feb 17th, 2010 at 7:26pm:
there's always next year....

if you were to rescue her, the reward would be....more well than you can imagine.

come on, copernicus...work with me. i got a deadline.
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"Why would any sane person want to leave Rocks Off? If you have an issue outside of Rocks Off, handle it. When you return it will be as if you never have left. Once you are here-it's expected you stay. Why waste long cultivated posting skills somewhere else? The outside world will not understand." -Nellie

“You assclowns are destroying this nation.” –Riffy

"You can lead a horse to the facts, but you can't make the horse understand the facts if he's a dumbfuck horse stuck on stupid." - Riffy

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PartyDoll MEG
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #3 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 7:44pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
If I hadn't had you three amigos, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to be without sleep.

If your Ma and Pa hadn't played footsies in the sleeping bag, you wouldn't be her to drive me crazy.

If it manages to go up. eventually it will come down

If I become President, you won't be paying any taxes.

If you play with fire, you will eventually become a fire bug (burn baby burn)

If there is 4 feet of snow, there will eventually be a flood

you want more?.....


If you will excuse me, I think I'll slip into something more comfortable
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Pdog
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #4 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 7:44pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
if no one told you they loved you today, let me be the first to let you know i screwed your wife and i have herpes!!!
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Starbuck
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #5 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 7:47pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
PartyDoll MEG wrote on Feb 17th, 2010 at 7:44pm:
If I hadn't had you three amigos, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to be without sleep.

If your Ma and Pa hadn't played footsies in the sleeping bag, you wouldn't be her to drive me crazy.

If it manages to go up. eventually it will come down

If I become President, you won't be paying any taxes.

If you play with fire, you will eventually become a fire bug (burn baby burn)

If there is 4 feet of snow, there will eventually be a flood

you want more?.....


If you will excuse me, I think I'll slip into something more comfortable


that's thinkin', meg!

are these famous? or are these derivations of other famous quotes? (what goes up must come down, etc.)
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"Why would any sane person want to leave Rocks Off? If you have an issue outside of Rocks Off, handle it. When you return it will be as if you never have left. Once you are here-it's expected you stay. Why waste long cultivated posting skills somewhere else? The outside world will not understand." -Nellie

“You assclowns are destroying this nation.” –Riffy

"You can lead a horse to the facts, but you can't make the horse understand the facts if he's a dumbfuck horse stuck on stupid." - Riffy

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Starbuck
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #6 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 7:48pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
Pdog wrote on Feb 17th, 2010 at 7:44pm:
if no one told you they loved you today, let me be the first to let you know i screwed your wife and i have herpes!!!

that will not go over well in the bible belt.
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"Why would any sane person want to leave Rocks Off? If you have an issue outside of Rocks Off, handle it. When you return it will be as if you never have left. Once you are here-it's expected you stay. Why waste long cultivated posting skills somewhere else? The outside world will not understand." -Nellie

“You assclowns are destroying this nation.” –Riffy

"You can lead a horse to the facts, but you can't make the horse understand the facts if he's a dumbfuck horse stuck on stupid." - Riffy

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PartyDoll MEG
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #7 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 7:53pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
If it was suppose to rain, then god damn it, why did you leave the umbrella at home!


If you are so damn smart, why are we  still scrimping pennies?

If we go to Disneyland, can I sit on Mickey's lap?
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PartyDoll MEG
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #8 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 8:03pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
If you smile pretty, I'll buy you a chocolate.

If you just shut up for 5 minutes, I promise I'll take you to the movie.


If you clean your room today, Johnny can spend the night.

If you say you are right, I'll prove you are wrong.

If you can't think of them yourself, you really do need to get some sleep........

Nght night, Bucky
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Starbuck
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #9 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 8:17pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
PartyDoll MEG wrote on Feb 17th, 2010 at 8:03pm:
If you smile pretty, I'll buy you a chocolate.

If you just shut up for 5 minutes, I promise I'll take you to the movie.


If you clean your room today, Johnny can spend the night.

If you say you are right, I'll prove you are wrong.

If you can't think of them yourself, you really do need to get some sleep........

Nght night, Bucky



meg dear...i can think of them....i just need famous conditional sentences that the kids would recognize.
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"Why would any sane person want to leave Rocks Off? If you have an issue outside of Rocks Off, handle it. When you return it will be as if you never have left. Once you are here-it's expected you stay. Why waste long cultivated posting skills somewhere else? The outside world will not understand." -Nellie

“You assclowns are destroying this nation.” –Riffy

"You can lead a horse to the facts, but you can't make the horse understand the facts if he's a dumbfuck horse stuck on stupid." - Riffy

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Nellcote
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So, what's your point?

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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #10 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 9:04pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
It is what it is.
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"slide your body, girl, right across the floor..do the Southside Shuffle..."Southside Shuffle-Mighty J Geils Band
 
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PartyDoll MEG
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #11 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 9:18pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
you are no fun, bucky!  Aren't their parents famous enough?

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
 Mother Teresa- (that should go ok in the bible belt)

If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace.
John Lennon


(Riffy will like this one..)
If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under.
Ronald Reagan

and one more..
If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?
Vince Lombardi

If you don't know how to use google, you should sing in a Beatles tribute band Wink
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« Last Edit: Feb 17th, 2010 at 9:20pm by PartyDoll MEG »  
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Joey
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #12 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 9:33pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
" there's always next year .... "



< ---- Free your ass , your mind will follow .
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...&&&&D.J. Jazzy Joe and the Fresh Prince of Boca Raton !™&& *** " VICTORY !!!! " ***...
 
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sweetcharmedlife
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Do the horrendous to that
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #13 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 9:49pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
Go Big or Go Home
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I'll shoot it to you straight and look you in the eye
So gimme just a minute and I'll tell you why
 
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Starbuck
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #14 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 9:58pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
If I were a carpenter and you were my lady, would you marry me anyway? would you have my baby?

If I fell in love with you, would you promise to be true and help me understand?

If six turned out to be nine, I don't mind!

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.

If I could stick my pen in my heart and spill it all over the stage,
Would it satisfy ya, would it slide on by ya
Would you think the boy is strange?

come on! work with me here, people!
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« Last Edit: Feb 17th, 2010 at 10:00pm by Starbuck »  
"Why would any sane person want to leave Rocks Off? If you have an issue outside of Rocks Off, handle it. When you return it will be as if you never have left. Once you are here-it's expected you stay. Why waste long cultivated posting skills somewhere else? The outside world will not understand." -Nellie

“You assclowns are destroying this nation.” –Riffy

"You can lead a horse to the facts, but you can't make the horse understand the facts if he's a dumbfuck horse stuck on stupid." - Riffy

Posts: 66936 | Registered: Dec 2002



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PartyDoll MEG
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #15 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 10:10pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
If life gives you lemons, make lemonaid.


    If wishes were horses then beggars would ride,
    If turnips were swords I'd have one by my side.
    If 'ifs' and 'ands' were pots and pans
    There would be no need for tinkers hands!

If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right

If I Only Had a Brain I could while away the hours, conferrin' with the flowers. Consultin' with the rain. ...
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PartyDoll MEG
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #16 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 10:12pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
If not for you, babe, I couldn't find the door
Couldn't even see the floor
I'd be sad and blue if not for you


If you ever go to Houston better walk right
Keep your hands in your pockets and your gun belt tight .

If dogs run free, then why not we
Across the swooping plain ?
My ears hear a symphony
Of two mules, trains and rain
The best is always yet to come
That's what they explain to me
Just do your thing, you'll be king
If dogs run free.
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« Last Edit: Feb 17th, 2010 at 10:20pm by PartyDoll MEG »  
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sweetcharmedlife
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #17 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 10:22pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
I remember when you started out,
You were the best friend i ever knew.
I tried to meet you when you had your success,
But you had better things to do.
Now i bet that you're losin' count
Of the people that you used.
But now we're gonna see the vicious side of you,
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I'll shoot it to you straight and look you in the eye
So gimme just a minute and I'll tell you why
 
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stonedinaustralia
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wake up crackers or we
all through!!

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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #18 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 10:36pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
Starbuck wrote on Feb 17th, 2010 at 9:58pm:
If I were a carpenter and you were my lady, would you marry me anyway? would you have my baby?

If I fell in love with you, would you promise to be true and help me understand?

If six turned out to be nine, I don't mind!

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.

If I could stick my pen in my heart and spill it all over the stage,
Would it satisfy ya, would it slide on by ya
Would you think the boy is strange?

come on! work with me here, people!



you're a beatles fan Bucky how about a Macca reference:


If you want it, here it is
Come and get it
Make your mind up fast

If you want it anytime I can give it
But you better hurry 'cause it may not last

does that last couplet count as two conditonal statements??
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« Last Edit: Feb 17th, 2010 at 10:39pm by stonedinaustralia »  
"you can see it against the girl's crocheted dress"
 
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Brainbell Jangler
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #19 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 11:08pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
If music be the food of love, then play on.
If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers
in your hair
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« Last Edit: Feb 17th, 2010 at 11:14pm by Brainbell Jangler »  
"The ROLLING STONES are more than just a group--they are a way of life."--Andrew Loog Oldham
 
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #20 - Feb 17th, 2010 at 11:32pm Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
If a picture paints a thousand words,
Then why can't I paint you?
The words will never show the you I've come to know.
If a face could launch a thousand ships,
Then where am I to go?
There's no one home but you,
You're all that's left me, too.
And when my love for life is running dry,
You come and pour yourself on me.

If a man could be two places at one time,
I'd be with you.
Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way.
If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die,
I'd spend the end with you.
And when the world was through,
Then one by one the stars would all go out,
Then you and I would simply fly away.
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"The ROLLING STONES are more than just a group--they are a way of life."--Andrew Loog Oldham
 
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Some STONES "IF's"
Reply #21 - Feb 18th, 2010 at 8:23am Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
If you can't rock me, somebody will

If I was a movie star, five million dollars would be my price
If I was a trucker, I'd drive for seven days and seven lonely nights
If I was a drummer, I would never miss the beat
If I was a dancer, y'all would never see my feet
If I was a hooker, a thousand dollars would be my price
If I was a candidate for President, I'd make sure I had a steady wife
If I was a millionaire, I'd spend all my money in one crazy night

If you need me, Why don't you call me


If you really want to be my friend, Let me live it up like I used to do
If you really want to understand me, There's some giving up we got to do
If you really want to understand a man, Let him off the lead sometimes, set him free
If you really, really want to be my friend, Give me the look of love, not jealousy
If you really want to be my man, Get your nails out of my back,Stop using me
If you really want to understand me, I'll tell you something, love can't thrive on jealousy

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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #22 - Feb 18th, 2010 at 8:31am Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
Starbuck wrote on Feb 17th, 2010 at 7:48pm:
Pdog wrote on Feb 17th, 2010 at 7:44pm:
if no one told you they loved you today, let me be the first to let you know i screwed your wife and i have herpes!!!

that will not go over well in the bible belt.


just go with, if no one has told you they loved you yet today, i'm not going to as well... i use this one often when people are feeling alot of hurt and really sad, to put some humor into the moment, it only fails 40% of the time...
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #23 - Feb 18th, 2010 at 8:33am Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
PartyDoll MEG wrote on Feb 17th, 2010 at 10:10pm:
If life gives you lemons, make lemonaid.


   If wishes were horses then beggars would ride,
   If turnips were swords I'd have one by my side.
   If 'ifs' and 'ands' were pots and pans
   There would be no need for tinkers hands!

If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right

If I Only Had a Brain I could while away the hours, conferrin' with the flowers. Consultin' with the rain. ...



If life give you lemons, in the form of HIV, fuck a lemon and make LemonAIDS!!!
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sweetcharmedlife
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #24 - Feb 18th, 2010 at 8:52am Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
If as we're walkin a hand should slip free
I'll wait for you
And should i fall behind
Wait for me
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I'll shoot it to you straight and look you in the eye
So gimme just a minute and I'll tell you why
 
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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #25 - Feb 18th, 2010 at 9:20am Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
if the queen had balls, they'd be king!
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sweetcharmedlife
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Do the horrendous to that
if you can

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Re: IF......(immediate help!) (absolutely nsc)
Reply #26 - Feb 18th, 2010 at 10:09am Alert Board Moderator about this Post! 
If pigs had wings they'd fly
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I'll shoot it to you straight and look you in the eye
So gimme just a minute and I'll tell you why
 
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