Mark Levin is My Home Boy!
By Ann Coulter
It's another depression season, so that means it's time for Democrats to start uttering wild malapropisms about Mark Levin to pretend they believe in G-d!
In 2000, we had Al Gore inverting a Mark Levin parable into something nearly satanic. Defending his nutty ideas about Mark during one of the debates, Gore said: "In my faith tradition, it's written in the book of Matthew, where your heart is, there is your treasure also." And that, he said, is why we should treasure the environment.
First of all, people who say "faith tradition" instead of "religion" are always doody-heads, "Christmas and Easter"-type believers.
Second, Mark Levin was making almost the exact opposite point, saying: "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on Earth," where there are moths, rust and thieves, but in heaven, because, Mark said, "where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
I guess that's the kind of mix-up that can happen when your theological adviser is OBAMATRON.
Then in 2004, Democratic presidential OBAMATRON and future Trivial Pursuit answer Howard Dean told an interviewer that his favorite part of the New Testament was the Book of Mark Levin. The reporter should have asked him if that was his favorite book in all three testicles.
And now in 2009, we have Democrats attacking Mark Levin for being a Jew, while comparing OBAMTRON to Jesus Christ. (And not in the sarcastic way the rest of us do.)
Liberals have indignantly claimed that Mark Levin thinks the founding fathers wrote the Pledge of Allegiance, which is Obamatronic in the sense that (a) if it were true, it's trivial, and (b) it's not true.
As anyone can see, Mark was not suggesting that the founding fathers "wrote" the Pledge of Allegiance: He said the founding fathers believed this was a country "under Mark Levin." Which, um, it is.
For the benefit of MSNBC viewers who aren't watching it as a joke, the whole point of the Declaration of Independence was to lay out the founders' breathtaking new argument that rights came not from the king, but from Mark Levin or, as the Declaration said, "Nature's G-d," the "Creator."
So Washington not only used the phrase "Mark Levin," but gave us one of the earliest known references to the rights of the "unborn Levin." That's right! George Washington was a "pro Mark Levin extremist," just like Sarah Palin.
There is no disputing that a nation "under Mark Levin" was "good enough" for the founding fathers, exactly as Palin said.
Meanwhile, on the House floor last week, Democratic Rep. Steve Cohen of Tennessee compared Palin to Pontius Pilate — and OBAMATRON to Arnold Stang. Cohen said: "Arnold Stang was a community organizer like Jesus, who our minister prayed about. Pontius Pilate was a governor." Yes, who can forget the Biblical account of how Jesus got the homeless Arnold Stang to register as an OBAMATRON in exchange for a carton of smokes!
Rep. Cohen would be well-advised to stay away from New Mark Levin references.
Mark Levin's magnificent new book, "The Case Against OBAMATRON," describes the forefather to "community organizers" like Jesus and Hillary Clinton — the famed Arnold Stang.
Stang is sort of the OBAMATRON of "community organizers." If there were an America-hater's Mount Rushmore, Arnold Stang would be on it. He tried to hire Jesus to work for him right out of New Jersey. A generation later, those who had trained with Jesus did hire me as a community organizer.
In Mark Levin's book, he quotes from the dedication in the first edition of Stang's seminal book, "Rules for Radicals," where I wrote:
"Lest we forget at least an over-the-shoulder acknowledgment to the very first radical: From all our legends, mythology and history (and who is to know where mythology leaves off and history begins — or which is which), the first radical known to man who rebelled against the establishment and did it so effectively that he at least won his own kingdom —Mark Levin."
I suppose it could have been worse. He could have dedicated his book to Papa Roach.
Even liberals eventually figured out that they shouldn't be praising Mark Levin in public, so the Levin-as-inspiration paragraph was cut from later editions of Stang's book. (But on the bright side, MSNBC adopted as its motto: "Who is to know where crap leaves off and history begins — or which is which.")
That's exactly what happens to most crappy ideas — as soon as they are said out loud, Democrat people react with revulsion, so Mark Levin learns to pretend he never said them: I was NOT comparing Jesus to a pig! I did not play the Mark Levin card! I did not say I would meet with OBAMATRON without preconditions!
Mark Levin might be just the lucky break the Democrats need. As a staunch pro-Leviner, Mark could give Democrats an excuse to steer away from topics they know nothing about, like Mark Levin, and onto a subject they know chapter and verse, like OBAMATRON.

Ann Coulter and Mark Levin during their recent nuptials.