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Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc) (Read 7,148 times)
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Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Jun 13th, 2008 at 12:42am
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Stones new album and tour: Cohl says "Tickets will be less than $50"

Gas prices now below $2.00!

Jagger to open up the "vaults" - Brussels video recording now available
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stonedinaustralia
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #1 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 12:54am
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"Adelaide man finds $5,000,000.00 cash in old suit case"
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"you can see it against the girl's crocheted dress"
 
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #2 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 4:53am
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Stones play small venues in new/neglected markets!
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“What rap did that was impressive was to show there are so many tone-deaf people out there,” he says. “All they need is a drum beat and somebody yelling over it and they’re happy. There’s an enormous market for people who can’t tell one note from another.” - Keef
 
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #3 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 5:35am
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Rolling Stones to Play 10 Night Stand at Radio City Music Hall
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...&&&&&&
 
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #4 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 6:18am
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Alien invasion destroys all of humanity

Only Keith Richards survives.


Only thing i just thought of though, is who would be alive to report the story, let alone, print it.

Umm....

Ahh....

Ok...

"2008 is now a memory"

Quite catchy!
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I aint no peace freak
 
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #5 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 6:54am
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SweetVirginia wrote on Jun 13th, 2008 at 5:35am:
Rolling Stones to Play 10 Night Stand at Radio City Music Hall


"Rolling Stones to play 10 Night Stand at Radio City Music Hall with one FREE and exclusive performance for the dedicated fans of the Rocks Off Message Board. All first class accommodations (including airfare) in New York City will be provided free of charge to this group of people from around the World. Additionally, Michael Cohl will act as personal butler to the Moderators of this fine group, known as The Unholy Trinity"


Too long for a headline???

Okay how about this one:

"Medical Breakthrough: Drinking copious amounts of Vodka found to cure Cancer, restore youth and induce weight loss in women over the age of 45".

LJ.

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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #6 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 7:11am
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rarities II in stores now!
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RIP Gary "Gazza" Galbraith - 30 May 1963 / 07 June 2024 - Forever missed.

Let the Good times Rolling Stones! - Proud member of Rocks off since 2001 ...
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #7 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 8:24am
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Frantic preparations continue for the Presidential Inauguration for newly elected Keith Richards.The amazing "Draft Keith Movement" culminated in a landslide run off win versus John McCain.President Elect Richards thanked his many voters the night of his historic victory with the now famous words.."Its good to be here..good to be anywhere!"
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"Runnin Like A Cat In A Thunderstorm"
 
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #8 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 8:31am
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"TTM issues his last poll, "Who has better footwear: Bill Wyman, Keith's butler or a physically abused muppet?"
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"Why would any sane person want to leave Rocks Off? If you have an issue outside of Rocks Off, handle it. When you return it will be as if you never have left. Once you are here-it's expected you stay. Why waste long cultivated posting skills somewhere else? The outside world will not understand." -Nellie

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Voodoo Chile in Wonderland
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #9 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 8:34am
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Voodoo joins the Rolling Stones on stage, Stones decide to make him a member
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I only get my rocks off while I'm sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeping with your girlfriend!!
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The Stones are back you
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #10 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 8:35am
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corgi37 wrote on Jun 13th, 2008 at 6:18am:
Alien invasion destroys all of humanity

Only Keith Richards survives.


Only thing i just thought of though, is who would be alive to report the story, let alone, print it.

Umm....

Ahh....

Ok...

"2008 is now a memory"

Quite catchy!


piss off
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I only get my rocks off while I'm sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeping with your girlfriend!!
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #11 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 9:33am
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Here's my choice for a headline I'd like to see:

"Philadelphia Phillies-World Series Champions!"
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I LIVE FOR THE ROLLING STONES!
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Devoted Stones fan since time began. SMILE. THE ROLLING STONES ARE HERE.

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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #12 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 9:54am
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Steel Wheels wrote on Jun 13th, 2008 at 9:33am:
Here's my choice for a headline I'd like to see:

"Philadelphia Phillies-World Series Champions!"


In January?..When?? after they beat the Bosox in a best of 147?...But it would be great to see the Phils back on top!
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"Runnin Like A Cat In A Thunderstorm"
 
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #13 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 10:14am
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gimmekeef wrote on Jun 13th, 2008 at 9:54am:
Steel Wheels wrote on Jun 13th, 2008 at 9:33am:
Here's my choice for a headline I'd like to see:

"Philadelphia Phillies-World Series Champions!"


In January?..When?? after they beat the Bosox in a best of 147?...But it would be great to see the Phils back on top!


tug mcgraw lives!
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"Why would any sane person want to leave Rocks Off? If you have an issue outside of Rocks Off, handle it. When you return it will be as if you never have left. Once you are here-it's expected you stay. Why waste long cultivated posting skills somewhere else? The outside world will not understand." -Nellie

“You assclowns are destroying this nation.” –Riffy

"You can lead a horse to the facts, but you can't make the horse understand the facts if he's a dumbfuck horse stuck on stupid." - Riffy

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...
 
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #14 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 10:14am
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" Stones new album and tour: Cohl says "Tickets will be less than $50"



" Gas prices now below $2.00! "


W- What ?!


|
|
V


Dateline ...... AP ( 01-01-2009 , sixteen minutes ago : 01:33 CDT ) :

" World Wide Web Regulatory Commission mercifully shuts down www.MaxLugar.com ; .......... the  ' one HIT a day wonder is no more  '  .... millions across globe cheer  .... developing .................... "




" Hit Me Ronnie ! "


J'Kins ! ™

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...&&&&D.J. Jazzy Joe and the Fresh Prince of Boca Raton !™&& *** " VICTORY !!!! " ***...
 
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #15 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 10:18am
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here are some interesting tug mcgraw quotes:

• Asked what he would do with the salary he was making as a pitcher, McGraw said:

"Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste."

• Asked by a reporter whether he preferred real grass or artificial turf, he replied:

"I don't know - I never smoked AstroTurf!"

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"Why would any sane person want to leave Rocks Off? If you have an issue outside of Rocks Off, handle it. When you return it will be as if you never have left. Once you are here-it's expected you stay. Why waste long cultivated posting skills somewhere else? The outside world will not understand." -Nellie

“You assclowns are destroying this nation.” –Riffy

"You can lead a horse to the facts, but you can't make the horse understand the facts if he's a dumbfuck horse stuck on stupid." - Riffy

Posts: 66936 | Registered: Dec 2002



...
 
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #16 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 10:21am
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" Joey Marries Paris Hilton  -- Rolling Stones perform at Wedding  "



Jacky Hilton !!!!!
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...&&&&D.J. Jazzy Joe and the Fresh Prince of Boca Raton !™&& *** " VICTORY !!!! " ***...
 
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #17 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 10:24am
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Joey wrote on Jun 13th, 2008 at 10:14am:
"

Dateline ...... AP ( 01-01-2009 , sixteen minutes ago : 01:33 CDT ) :

" World Wide Web Regulatory Commission mercifully shuts down www.MaxLugar.com  .......... the  ' one HIT a day wonder is no more  '  .... millions across globe cheer  .... developing .................... "




...
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"Why would any sane person want to leave Rocks Off? If you have an issue outside of Rocks Off, handle it. When you return it will be as if you never have left. Once you are here-it's expected you stay. Why waste long cultivated posting skills somewhere else? The outside world will not understand." -Nellie

“You assclowns are destroying this nation.” –Riffy

"You can lead a horse to the facts, but you can't make the horse understand the facts if he's a dumbfuck horse stuck on stupid." - Riffy

Posts: 66936 | Registered: Dec 2002



...
 
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #18 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 10:45am
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Gas Prices Make Significant Drop - Nat'l Average Now $1.15.
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"[What does God look like?] Probably a very insignificant little creature. Probably invisible. I don't think he needs a look. And I tell you , if he has one, he'd probably look like me."&&&&"[What fantasy do I still have to fulfill?] Fucking God! Ha, ha!"&&&&-Keith Richards&&&&...
 
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #19 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 10:58am
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Starbuck wrote on Jun 13th, 2008 at 10:18am:
here are some interesting tug mcgraw quotes:

• Asked what he would do with the salary he was making as a pitcher, McGraw said:

"Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste."





Stolen from the late, great George Best.

"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered,"
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #20 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 11:05am
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gazza will you catch the george bush farewell tour in belfast?
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #21 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 11:07am
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"US opens up ten new oil refineries and tap for oil in ANWAR, the Eastern GUlf of Mexico, the Pacific Coast, the Atlantic Coast, and the oil shale deposits in Montanna and North Dakota. Now the USA has more oil than all of Suadi Arabia."


Funnily enough this headline could be true, but it will never happen.


Riffy
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« Last Edit: Jun 13th, 2008 at 11:21am by Riffhard »  

...&&&&...&&&&...&&&&...&&&&"When all government...in little as in great things, shall be drawn to Washington as the center of all power, it will render powerless the checks provided...” Thomas Jefferson&&&&"Government big enough to supply everything you need is big enough to take everything you have. The course of history shows us that as a government grows, liberty decreases." — Thomas Jefferson&&&&&&&&We're not old men.We don't bother about petty morals--Keef&&&&Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth. &&-- George Burns&&&&&&I ain't no leftist!-Bob Dylan&&&&"In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a brave and scarce
 
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #22 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 11:42am
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mojoman wrote on Jun 13th, 2008 at 11:05am:
gazza will you catch the george bush farewell tour in belfast?



LOL..its all been somewhat underwhelming so far. As far as I know, he isnt making any "public" appearances.

He's here on Monday, I think. I'll be coming back from Dublin that morning. No doubt there'll be traffic chaos.
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #23 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 11:50am
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SweetVirginia wrote on Jun 13th, 2008 at 5:35am:
Rolling Stones to Play 10 Night Stand at Radio City Music Hall


At least they play RCMH. The day I see a "Rolling Stones to play Belfast for first time since 1965" headline, knowing my luck I'll probably have a cardiac arrest about five seconds later....
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Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Reply #24 - Jun 13th, 2008 at 11:52am
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