On the infamous 1-10 scale, how does Paris Hilton stack up amongst the worlds most beautiful women?
Guest welcome. One vote.

I went with 7-8. But only because I've always been a sucker for blondes.....my favorite flavor....with raven black running a close second.  

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Paris Hilton Isn’t Pregnant. Jurassic Park!
June 8th, 2008 at 15:30 by Paul Sorrenti 
HecklerSpray.com

It’s a scary time to be alive. Everywhere you look there are people dying, mothers crying, politicians lying and girlfriends prying.

We are told global warming is going to drown us, terrorists are going to blow us up and Paris Hilton is going to have a baby - it’s all too much.

The human body hasn’t evolved the capacity to deal with such misery, and so it seems that mass suicide is the only reasonable option.

But wait! Put down your nooses, brothers and sisters! Kick off those high heels, rip off those fish nets and spit that orange to the floor, because it would appear that Paris Hilton aint pregnant after all!


Yeah, we’re still gonna drown and be blown up, but really, who cares?

The showbiz world bust a nut recently when it was reported aris Hilton’s belly had expanded to the size of a less malnourished girl’s. There seemed to be two options:

1) She ate something

2) She was pregnant

Naturally, everyone thought she was pregnant. On first hearing the news, one reliable source spoke for us all when he told Hecklerspray:

Fuck! Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck! Fuck. Oh, just fuck it all, I mean, seriously, bollocks to it! Shit, you know? Jesus Christ.

But a source who witnessed Paris Hilton on Friday night, dancing, drinking champagne and smoking cigarettes at Tao nightclub in Las Vegas, where she was filming her MTV reality show, Paris Hilton’s My New BFF, said that it’s clear the she isn’t pregnant at all:

She’s clearly not pregnant.

See?

You’re probably thinking what we’re thinking, and what we’re thinking is this: It is quite easy to envisage Paris Hilton drinking and smoking while pregnant, just as it is quite easy to imagine her saying ‘my mum smoke and drank while she was pregnant with me, and look how I turned out!’

On the other hand, it’s also quite easy to imagine that, if Paris was to ever have an abortion, this is how she would go about celebrating it. And who could blame her? That’s one Paris Hilton party that Hecklerspray would be delighted to join in on.

We’d turn up early, be vomiting over the karaoke machine before the clock struck 7pm, before belting out the best rendition of KC and the Sunshine Band that we could muster. Come on!

But still, rather than throw your nooses away, probably best just store them in the cupboard for a while, you know, to be on the safe side.

!!!!!

Gazza wrote on Jun 9^th, 2008 at 9:54am:



She's vile.
quote]

That can be a turn on for some guys....like me. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn4-2qMErgM

Harper Valley P.T.A."
(Tom T. Hall)

I want to tell you all a story 'bout a Harper Valley widowed wife
Who had a teenage daughter who attended Harper Valley Junior High
Well her daughter came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play
She said, "Mom, I got a note here from the Harper Valley P.T.A."

The note said, "Mrs. Johnson, you're wearing your dresses way too high
It's reported you've been drinking and a-runnin' 'round with men and going wild
And we don't believe you ought to be bringing up your little girl this way"
It was signed by the secretary, Harper Valley P.T.A.

Well, it happened that the P.T.A. was gonna meet that very afternoon
They were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson wore her mini-skirt into the room
And as she walked up to the blackboard, I still recall the words she had to say
She said, "I'd like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley P.T.A."

Well, there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there and seven times he's asked me for a date
Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use a lot of ice whenever he's away
And Mr. Baker, can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town?
And shouldn't widow Jones be told to keep her window shades all pulled completely down?

Well, Mr. Harper couldn't be here 'cause he stayed too long at Kelly's Bar again
And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath, you'll find she's had a little nip of gin
Then you have the nerve to tell me you think that as a mother I'm not fit
Well, this is just a little Peyton Place and you're all Harper Valley hypocrites

No I wouldn't put you on because it really did, it happened just this way
The day my Mama socked it to the Harper Valley P.T.A.
The day my Mama socked it to the Harper Valley P.T.A

" She is the living embodiment of all that's wrong with 21st century culture. A total waste of sperm and egg.

She is to feminine sexiness what Bon Jovi are to rock n roll "


YOU MAKE JOEY CRY LIKE BABY !!!!!!!

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!!!!!

Gazza wrote on Jun 9^th, 2008 at 10:12am:


Doh! Though I must say that I agree whole heartedly. She is a vapid vacant skank that was just fortunate enough to be born into money. The obsession with her has always left me cold. She offers nothing. Put her next to a true beauty like Angelina Jolie or Elizabeth Hurley and she looks like nothing but a huge nose with a nice ass.


Riffy

PartyDoll MEG wrote on Jun 9^th, 2008 at 11:40am:



Yeah. Maybe that's worth reassessing.

A cattleprod, then.

Joey wrote on Jun 9^th, 2008 at 10:49am:



I'd eat that burger before I'd do the same to her every time, Joey.

I'd take Mad Cow Disease over a dose of herpes anytime.

Jeep wrote on Jun 9^th, 2008 at 12:13pm:



Wow, Jeep..that was a lucky escape. That stake must have missed her brain by a mere 6 feet.

TenThousandMotels wrote on Jun 9^th, 2008 at 12:17pm:


You're right, Stones and sluts, indivisible, with liberty and juices for all!

Be careful what you say about Paris. The "Curse of the Skinny Blonde' is still in play

carbon footprint

" I'd eat that burger before I'd do the same to her every time, Joey. "


!!!!!!