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sirmoonie
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Re: The New and Improved Joey? thread
Reply #9064 - Mar 3rd, 2013 at 10:23pm
The smack of wet fish on Pope flesh resounds throughout the cavernous Vatican room. It was as if god himself had yelled "THHHHWACCKKK." Immediately, fish scales and papal snot mingle in the air in a sick kaleidescope of 70s colors as if blown out of tuba. The monks and nuns and bishops and deacons and other members of the syndicate are shocked. But after seeing the Pope's reaction, they can't help but feel a bit of gratitude to the fish assailant. For goddamn years now, they have been living under this wretched Pope, his endless talk of the "good old days," his domineering ways, his childish temper tantrums, and his creepy vibe. One nun recalls how he practically went postal when she put too much milk in his mashed potatoes, and she had to run crying back to the nunnery feeling judgment was upon her. Now, it was her time to gloat. That awful old man just got the piss fishslapped out of him!
Later, the fish assailant gives a press interview from the Vatican City jail. The clink. The pokey. The cooler. The can. The Hoosegow. The slam. The assailant looked around the room full of press/media. "Moof piss," he begins. "You goddam liberal media have tried to portray this as some kind of anti-Catholic event. I want everyone to know this had nothing to do with Catholics. I love Catholics. I've had sex with Catholics. Done drugs with Catholics. The Exorcist is one of my favorite movies, for Chrissakes. This act was between me and Ratzinger. I accept responsibility. I chose the fish, a halibut. I found it symbolic. Questions?"
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The New and Improved Joey? thread (Read 2,357,474 times)
