Joey?
Durango, Colorado (The Weekly Vice) – Paul Andrew Kausalik, a 61-year-old Durango postal worker was jailed after he allegedly spit feces on a police officer during an arrest for drunk driving.
According to Durango Police, Kausalik was stopped for failing to use a turn signal when the officer approached his vehicle and smelled alcohol on his breath.
Kausalik denied having anything to drink that night, however a preliminary breath test revealed his breath alcohol content to be 0.142 – nearly three times the 0.05 legal driving limit in Colorado.
Investigators say Kausalik was arrested and taken to the police station for an official breathalyzer test. Kausalik reportedly asked to use the restroom and then attempted to dodge the breath test by pretending that he fell asleep in the bathroom.
When he finally exited the bathroom, an officer noticed that he had something in his mouth. When Kausalik came within 4 feet of the officer, he violently spit the contents from his mouth onto the officer, striking him on the left side of his face and head.
The officer determined that the matter was feces, and saw that Kausalik’s hands were also covered in feces.
Kausalik was booked into the La Plata County Jail and charged with felony assault on a police officer. He is due in court on March 4th.
Go big or go home right? And if pooping into your hand, putting it into your mouth, and spitting it at a police officer is what you think you have to do to get out of that DUI arrest, well then that’s what you have to do.
My only question is at what point do we start letting people walk free purely on effort. Like Dicky V is always ranting and raving about hustle guys and how great they are. Well what about Paul Kausalik? Isn’t he the ultimate hustle guy? If you’re willing to put your own feces in your mouth then you should be acquitted spot on scene. And if poop in the mouth isn’t an automatic get out of jail free card then I will have to go ahead and agree with popular consensus and say that our legal system is broken.
PS
If this guy was your mailman would you burn your hands right away or would you buy some acid and drench your hands in it? There’s just no telling what a poop eater could do to your mail.
Talk about shooting the shit.
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