ROCKS OFF - The Rolling Stones Message Board

ROCKS OFF - The Rolling Stones Message Board
http://rocksoff.org/cgi-bin/messageboard/YaBB.pl GENERAL >> MAIN BOARD >> The Joke Thread http://rocksoff.org/cgi-bin/messageboard/YaBB.pl?num=1210602305 Message started by Some Guy on May 12^th, 2008 at 9:25am

Title: The Joke Thread
Post by Some Guy on May 12^th, 2008 at 9:25am

Heard any good ones lately?

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by Heart Of Stone on May 12^th, 2008 at 10:17am

A cop pulls over a woman driver, asks "Lady have you been drinking?" in which she replies "Why, you buying?"

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by sirmoonie on May 12^th, 2008 at 11:51am

Its a knick knack Patty Whack, give that frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by gimmekeef on May 12^th, 2008 at 2:08pm

Horse walks into a bar and the concerned bartender says."Hey fellow why the long face?"

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by steeldrivinghammer on May 12^th, 2008 at 2:32pm

" Heard any good ones lately? "

The Beatles...

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by Some Guy on May 12^th, 2008 at 2:39pm

a man a horse and a monkey walk into a bar- the bartender looks and up and says what is this a joke?

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by Pdog on May 12^th, 2008 at 3:14pm

a joke walks out of a bar....

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by sirmoonie on May 12^th, 2008 at 3:19pm

Jesus was a white guy!

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by Pdog on May 12^th, 2008 at 3:33pm

sirmoonie wrote on May 12^th, 2008 at 3:19pm:

Jesus was a white guy!

Hahaha!
;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by Some Guy on May 12^th, 2008 at 3:57pm

Joey, try that new higher fiber cereal- colon blow.

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by SweetVirginia on May 12^th, 2008 at 6:48pm

A psychiatrist checks his schedule and sees that a new patient is coming in.

When the man arrives, he enters the office completely naked, except for the fact that he's wrapped knees-to-neck in Saran Wrap.

The shrink looks at him and says, "I can clearly see yer nuts."

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by Kilroy on May 12^th, 2008 at 6:53pm

;) :blankfriggingstare1 :warhorse
How about this:

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by open-g on May 12^th, 2008 at 7:12pm

:pukeyDid You know that Kurt Cobain had realy bad dandruff?
Yes, they found his 'Head and Shoulders' behind the couch.

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by sweetcharmedlife on May 12^th, 2008 at 7:35pm

What do Roger Clemens and a tortoise have in common?......They both get there before the hair.

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by Some Guy on May 12^th, 2008 at 8:16pm

sirmoonie wrote on May 12^th, 2008 at 11:51am:

Its a knick knack Patty Whack, give that frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!

well played moonism- I just got that!

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by zooeyglass on May 13^th, 2008 at 1:18am

Two men walked into a bar.

The third ducked.

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by Joey on May 13^th, 2008 at 7:39am

" What do Roger Clemens and a tortoise have in common?......They both get there before the hair "

FUNNY !!!!!

'kins ! , Est. 1999

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by Zack on May 13^th, 2008 at 1:19pm

The Onion on Jenna Bush's marriage:

"It was good her dad could get down there 65 times over the last eight years and clean up some of that brush for the wedding."

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by open-g on May 14^th, 2008 at 9:03pm

It was a tough time, you know.
Six years without sex and drugs and rock'n roll...

...but then I was sent to school.

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by JumpingJack2 on May 17^th, 2008 at 9:55pm

Here's one for ya all. What does former President Bill Clinton and Bin Laden have in common? They both sleep in a different bed each night! ;D :P I got more where that came from.

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by sirmoonie on May 18^th, 2008 at 6:52am

Ted Kennedy started seeing a new young woman. The young woman's father asked Kennedy: "What are your intentions toward my daughter." Replied Kennedy: "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by TenThousandMotels on May 18^th, 2008 at 9:57am

sirmoonie wrote on May 18^th, 2008 at 6:52am:

Ted Kennedy started seeing a new young woman. The young woman's father asked Kennedy: "What are your intentions toward my daughter." Replied Kennedy: "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

That stale old joke is worth...
:pullanolte :pullanolte

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by Sioux on May 18^th, 2008 at 3:14pm

sirmoonie wrote on May 18^th, 2008 at 6:52am:

Ted Kennedy started seeing a new young woman. The young woman's father asked Kennedy: "What are your intentions toward my daughter." Replied Kennedy: "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

:aimama

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by andrews27 on May 19^th, 2008 at 7:27pm

Hillary's next book title: "Oops! Sorry - It Really Takes a Concentration Camp..." :kissmyass

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by TenThousandMotels on May 21^st, 2008 at 9:10am

Aren't jokes meant to make you laugh?
:interestingstuffronnie

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by Egon on May 21^st, 2008 at 10:23am

Title: Re: The Joke Thread
Post by Glimmer Twin on May 29^th, 2008 at 8:45pm

Chucky the rooster

>An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket agent asked,
"Sir,
> > >what's that on your shoulder?"
> > >The old farmer said, "That's my pet rooster Chucky. Wherever I go,
> Chucky
> > >goes."
> > >"I'm sorry, sir," said the ticket agent. "We can't allow animals in
the
> > >theater." The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the
> > >bird
> down
> > >his pants. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered
> > >the theater. He sat down next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge.
> > >
> > >
> > >The movie started and the rooster began to squirm. The old farmer
> unzipped
> > >his pants so Chucky could stick his head out and watch the movie.
> > >"Marge,"
> > >whispered Mildred. "What?" said Marge. "I think the guy next to me
> > >is
a
> > >pervert." "What makes you think so?" asked Marge. "He unzipped his
> pants
> > >and he has his thing
> > >out," whispered Mildred. "Well, don't worry about it," said Marge.
> > >"At our

> > >age we've seen 'em all."
> > >"That's what I thought, too," said Mildred, "but this one's eating
> > >my popcorn."