Police Want Richie Sambora Up For Child Endangerment
April 16th, 2008 at 19:00 by Stuart Heritage
Hecklerspray.com

In the past the nearest you could get Bon Jovi to child endangerment involved playing Blaze Of Glory at a toddler until it cried and/or crapped itself.

But not any more - not since Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora was arrested for driving his Hummer around Laguna Beach all shitfaced with his 10-year-old daughter in the passenger seat.

Unsurprisingly the police have taken a rather dim view to it all, and have recommended that prosecutors go all out to hit him with a misdemeanor child endangerment charge. But, really, whatever criminal charges may or may not be be brought against him, Richie Sambora will have to live with the emotional upset that comes with knowing that he endangered the life of his daughter in a moment of stupidity. And, on top of the emotional upset he’s already got from being in a really rubbish band, that’s going to be quite a lot of upset.

Between his terrible mullety haircut, his propensity for getting hammered, his awful band and his role in Earth’s stupidest-ever love triangle, Richie Sambora has enough on his plate at the moment. With so many conflicting desires, it’s no surprise that Richie ended up taking the easy way out.

Actually, that’s a lie. Getting arrested on suspicion of drunk driving while your daughter is in the car isn’t actually all that easy at all - you have to get drunk, find your car keys, round up your 10-year-old daughter, convince her that taking a ride with her obviously drunk father is a good thing to do, focus on the road long enough to pull out of the drive and then somehow manage to catch the attention of the police, all before the booze wears off - but you catch our drift.

And that’s what Richie Sambora managed to do recently. At the end of last month, Richie Sambora was arrested on suspicion of DUI with his daughter as a passenger. Richie still hasn’t been charged with anything yet, but the police seem pretty hell-bent on making the whole ‘child endangerment’ thing as official as possible. The San Francisco Chronicle reports:

"Bon Jovi star Richie Sambora will be charged with misdemeanor DUI and child endangerment, if police officials get their way. The rocker’s daughter and her cousin were passengers in his vehicle when Sambora was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving last month, and police want prosecutors to get tough with him."

If it turns out that Richie Sambora really was driving drunk with his daughter in tow, then he probably deserves whatever charges can be hurled at him. Drunkenly smash your car into a tree and die, shame on you. Drunkenly smash your car into a tree drunk and kill your daughter then double shame on you, you massive boozy halfwit. That’s how it goes, isn’t it?

But just because Richie Sambora potentially faces a child endangerment charge, it doesn’t mean that he’s automatically going to jail. It’s just a misdemeanor child endangerment charge, so perhaps if Richie’s convicted he can get away with community service at a local factory and nothing more.

If that’s the case, though, perhaps it’s best not to let Richie anywhere near the forklift. Especially not if the factory’s anywhere near a primary school.

TenThousandMotels wrote on Apr 16^th, 2008 at 5:37pm:

Police Want Richie Sambora Up For Child Endangerment April 16th, 2008 at 19:00 by Stuart Heritage Hecklerspray.com perhaps it’s best not to let Richie anywhere near the forklift.

they shouldnt allow him to be near a guitar or stage..........

He should get the new enhanced Death penalty!

wrote on Apr 16^th, 2008 at 5:47pm:

He should get the new enhanced Death penalty!

burn him!

now is this the real Sambora or the one that bought all the houses under his name?

wrote on Apr 16^th, 2008 at 5:47pm:

He should get the new enhanced Death penalty!

Pfft.
He's already serving a life sentence in Bon Jovi.

I was kidding about the DP but I would like to see him face whatever one of us would get for the same crime.

:'( Poor Sambora.
Maybe he'll get into rehab and get the help he needs.  

wrote on Apr 16^th, 2008 at 10:59pm:

I was kidding about the DP

You're going soft in your old age...

left shoe shuffle wrote on Apr 16^th, 2008 at 6:42pm:

wrote on Apr 16th, 2008 at 5:47pm: He should get the new enhanced Death penalty! Pfft. He's already serving a life sentence in Bon Jovi.

Unfortunately, so are the rest of us as a result

Gazza wrote on Apr 17^th, 2008 at 6:23am:

wrote on Apr 16th, 2008 at 10:59pm: I was kidding about the DP You're going soft in your old age...

How about just a good, old fashion horsewhipping out behind the barn? That usually straightens 'em out.

TenThousandMotels wrote on Apr 17^th, 2008 at 6:39am:

Gazza wrote on Apr 17th, 2008 at 6:23am: wrote on Apr 16th, 2008 at 10:59pm: I was kidding about the DP You're going soft in your old age... How about just a good, old fashion horsewhipping out behind the barn? That usually straightens 'em out.

Who? Richie or Glencar?  :warhorse

;D

"Who? Richie or Glencar?"

You want I should start a poll???? :-/

Now you've got me to thinking. A poll like that could provide some very thought provoking statistics. Who deserves a good horsewhipping?  Sambora or Glencar? Hmmmm.  No you'd have to add more options.  :warhorse

Gazza wrote on Apr 17^th, 2008 at 6:23am:

wrote on Apr 16th, 2008 at 10:59pm: I was kidding about the DP You're going soft in your old age...

Sad but true...

TenThousandMotels wrote on Apr 17^th, 2008 at 9:40am:

Now you've got me to thinking. A poll like that could provide some very thought provoking statistics. Who deserves a good horsewhipping?  Sambora or Glencar? Hmmmm.  No you'd have to add more options.  :warhorse

Haven't you started enough weird fucking threads!?

[quote author=glencar
Haven't you started enough weird fucking threads!?[/quote]

Not lately.  Weird fucking threads aren't my bag. :D
But then I suppose weird is in the eye of the beholder.

He should get parenting tips from Alec Baldwin. :willya

sweetcharmedlife wrote on Apr 17^th, 2008 at 6:09pm:

He should get parenting tips from Alec Baldwin. :willya

Or hire Billy Joel as his driver.

Sans kid passengers, of course...

sambora shouldn't be driving loaded with his kid in the car...not good.

quit it  :willya sambora