:forfucksake  :aimama  :nomames  :smilemick  :scary

http://www.theonion.com/articles/keith-richards-housekeeper-has-braced-herself-for,28708/

30 ambulance calls? pure bs...............and I doubt she still works for Keith....if she ever really did

Ha! If true, he'll probably outlive HER.... ::) ;) :P

Uhm...guys...it's The Onion...
Like getting your celebrity gossip from Mad Magazine

How original. More jokes about the Stones being old. :Youmakeagrownmancrylikejoey :warhorse

Even though Richards is no longer the heavy drug user he once was, Velasquez said the likelihood of finding him dead today is probably about the same as it was in the 1970s.

"Mr. Richards is old enough now he could die from natural causes, which is a possibility I never would have imagined 30 years ago," the housekeeper said. "Personally, I kind of wish he would just die already, because his lifestyle has certainly taken its toll on my health."


Personally, I would fire her for making that statement. Fvcking idiotic thing to say. She probably is overpaid too.

Bitch wrote on Jul 7^th, 2012 at 1:47pm:

Even though Richards is no longer the heavy drug user he once was, Velasquez said the likelihood of finding him dead today is probably about the same as it was in the 1970s. "Mr. Richards is old enough now he could die from natural causes, which is a possibility I never would have imagined 30 years ago," the housekeeper said. "Personally, I kind of wish he would just die already, because his lifestyle has certainly taken its toll on my health." Personally, I would fire her for making that statement. Fvcking idiotic thing to say. She probably is overpaid too.

You do realise this is a spoof?

:forfucksake

Paranoid Android wrote on Jul 7^th, 2012 at 11:37am:

Uhm...guys...it's The Onion... Like getting your celebrity gossip from Mad Magazine

Every few months, the Onion do a Stones spoof.

And without fail, Stones fans take it seriously.

I thought it was fucking funny.

The print version is not available everywhere.
When I managed a bar in DC, we had an Onion stand...it's a free weekly.
It was hilarious watching
tourists react to some of the more outrageous articles and columns...cluless to the fact
that it was a total parody/spoof.

I believe the reactions to this "article" are funnier than the article.  :smilemick

Making Rolling Stones are old jokes is like shooting fish in a barrel. I bet they call their next tour the Steel Wheelchairs tour. :scary

Wtf? I should be embarassed, believe it, I'm not, :tongui No truth in that article at all, she isnt really KEEFs housekeeper or she is but the story is made up complete crap? Wth. Overpaid journalist.

Bitch...Ellen...Dear...

I am surprised you don't know The Onion...seeing as you are close to the center of the universe...NYC...I knew it from NY originally...

THE ONION...is a weekly newspaper...and has been around in various formats for many many years...weekly print...ONION Radio...entire coffee table books of parodies, spoofs and humor stories abound...

Like National Lampoon, Mad Magazine, complete satire...not "made up" like some tabloid Weekly World News or such...
Real funny stuff...been around since late 80's...you may have seen it but never really taken notice of it...


http://www.theonion.com/

Reading it as a satire, its still not funny to me. But thanks for letting me know that, I'll look for the onion next time I go to the city again, maybe next month for Bobby's gig w/ suffering basrrds,

Paranoid Android wrote on Jul 7^th, 2012 at 11:37am:

Uhm...guys...it's The Onion... Like getting your celebrity gossip from Mad Magazine

thank you... lol.... Onion rocks, I read the print version whenever I can grab it... so funny!

I know The Onion and it still isn't funny....Seriously a fucking kindergardner, or Fox news (same thing). Could come up with something better.....Next thing you'll tell me Keith outlived Michael Jackson. That's just....oh wait. ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)

Someone pissed on SCL's sourdough bread.  ;D

Even as satire, The Onion is the best goddam thought-provoking journalism in Western culture.  The Bush Geeks couldn't stand The Onion, which is reason enough to read it.

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/mick-jagger-affair-carla-bruni-exclusive-excerpts-christopher-andersen-mick-article-1.1109163

Bingo wrote on Jul 8^th, 2012 at 10:13am:

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/mick-jagger-affair-carla-bruni-exclusive-excerpts-christopher-andersen-mick-article-1.1109163

"'ll be your mistress forever,' future first lady of France wrote to married Rolling Stones frontman

Big deal...Even i have told Mick that!    :blankfriggingstare1

The Onion is very popular. I'm shocked more people here don't know it. I don't bother with it and I certainly won't now. I don't think jokes about what they are joking about are funny.

Steel Wheels wrote on Jul 8^th, 2012 at 4:18pm:

The Onion is very popular. I'm shocked more people here don't know it. I don't bother with it and I certainly won't now. I don't think jokes about what they are joking about are funny.

I would bet that Keith would laugh his arse off at it. He's pandered to that 'rock star most likely to die next' image for decades, and seems somewhat proud of it.

He certainly found the palm trees being waved at him on the 2006 European tour very amusing.

Fortunately, the Stones take themselves a lot less seriously than many of their fans do.