(Wow, so I wrote an entire post, and my internet connection decided to just... stop working. And delete everything. So I'll try this fucker again...)

It's one of those Undercover/Dirty Work nights.

Along with a fuckload of brandy.

I know it's been a hell of along time since I was serious about posting here, my Stonesian bretheren and sisteren. I've been the prodigal son for so long... that's no way to get along! But shit, it's been over 10 years since I started posting here. And even more than that since I first hopped on to Keno's board. I've grown up many lifetimes since those heady days, my friends. Many of you remember me as a teeny little Stevie Child of the Moon, seemingly oblivious to the harsh realities of life. I can tell you now that I was living them even then, and have only faced down innumerable demons since then!

It's so strange to be in this kind of situation. You know, to feel like you can never truly be yourself, even after four-plus years of a serious relationship. Four years! Most people expected us to be married by this point. Truth be told, I kinda did, too. But to go through every day feeling like you can never really be the person you really are. I mean, I consider myself a fundimentally good person. I live out those Jesus-style beliefs, without giving in to that religious bullshit. I love my brother, I care for animals, I give money to the man on the street, et cetera. I just am who I am. I'm just a simple guitar player, who loves music, comic books, old video games, American history, and a lot of other shit. To constantly pretend that I am not that person is murder to the soul!

I know this is probably all out of nowhere for a lot of you. But you've gotta understand that, for years, I have considered many of you family that I have never met. Well, except for Brainbell Jangler, who is simply one of the coolest and classiest motherfuckers I have ever had the pleasure of meeting in person. Lawrence, I want you to thank you for letting me watch the Marquee '71 video before the Tacoma show, and I STILL have that crayon drawing your daughter made for me!

Ah, shit, what can a poor boy do? Perhaps this is reminiscent of the old “It's Friday Night” Maxlugar posts of yore. Oh, Maxy, I miss you! That motherfucker was the only guy I knew who loved Dirty Work as much as I do. I can only apologize in advance, as I enjoy som more brandy, dig some more cathartic Stonesmusic, and prepare myself to get up for work tomorrow, heading off to the pharmacy where I can dispense more codeine to help him to fix it.

Ladies and gentlemen...

I remain...

Stevie! Child of the motherfuckin' Moon!

Let's drink to the hard-working people
Let's drink to the lowly of birth
Raise yer glass to the good, NOT THE EVIL
Let's drink to the salt of the earth!

“Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn't get in, and walk through it, step by step. There's no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That's the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.

And you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You'll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.

And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about.”
― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

  ....  Sorry for the citation - just I am not very strong in English to say it better.....

My philosophy: a hundred-dollar shine on a three-dollar pair of shoes.

Be true to yourself, my friend, because in the end, thats all you really got, and dont let other people dump their expectations on you. We only have one go around on this earth so make the most of it! That being said, I cant manage a serious relationship either! Nobody will put up with amount of self indulgence I get into every week, but hey, I have a good time, I like my life and I'm happy! Not everyone can be Happy without a real love, KEEF for example, he needs a love to keep him Happy. There are alot of things that keep me happy, and if I need a man, I can usually get one. Women are lucky that way! Men, not so much, so if you want that kind of love that sticks around through thick and thin, you have to make the sacrifices. But it's your decision, so dont let anyone else make it for you, or you wont be Happy. It all boils down to being content with what you have and not wanting what you dont have.

Right! Thats good advice!

nice post man......glad you are here with the rest of us crazies.....grab what life gives cause it sure takes a lot on its own....

Child of the Moon, I'd just like to say I loved your post and really felt it. Really connected to it.