Rolling Stones Drop Ron Wood for Ronnie Montrose
Written by P.M. Wortham  
Story written: 04 December 2009    
Tags: Rolling Stones, Ron Wood

The guitar is the same but the head has changed. Fed up with Wood's recently reported marital and legal troubles, the Rolling Stones have taken courses of action to separate themselves from Wood before the start of the new ablum and international tour.

Front man Mick Jagger, could not be reached for comment, but a spokesman for the band says they have been in active negotiations with former Edgar Winter, Van Morrison and Herbie Hancock lead guitarist, Ronnie Montrose.

"Well, he fits the bill perfectly as a lead guitarist for the Rolling Stones. He's old, wrinkled, stumbles a bit, but can still wail on the six-string", says Stones promoter, Noel Harelyne. "He looks like an experienced rocker, but won't steal the spotlight from Mick."

Though band members are trying to soften the news of the transition, insiders to the band's management team are just happy that Montrose doesn't have any current legal trouble. "Most importantly", says Harelyne, "We won't have to make too many changes on the pending album cover, front or back". Harelyne held up photo proofs of the new cover to show where Montrose's head was superimposed on Woods body, and the last names were changed on the inside CD page.

Cornered on the streets of London this past Thursday, Jagger was asked how he felt about the replacement of Woods for Montrose. Jagger paused a bit then said, "Well, you can't always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need". Pushing for more comments one Paparazzi asked, "Are you talking about the band or Wood?". Jagger replied, "Both really, now Sod off."

You must be spoofing...

not funny

is Hagar on board for b/u vocals?

Sammy would probably better than Montrose at this point. Saw him and Bryan Adams jam in a bar in Tahoe a couple of years ago after Adams did a show up there. Did some nice fun covers of HTW and Rambler.

Cant be true. Montrose is American, born in Colorado. MICK/KEEF have stated that a Rolling Stone can only be British, no exceptions. But rules ARE meant to be broken, and that was 20+ years ago when they said it.

oh. sorry. :forfucksake

I just saw Sammy Hagar on T.V. a contender? oh no, he drinks as bad as Ronnie does.

Not Mick, bring back Dick Taylor!

stones get back to their roots

Where's my Ronnie smiley?

Heart Of Stone wrote on Dec 5^th, 2009 at 7:31pm:

I just saw Sammy Hagar on T.V. a contender? oh no, he drinks as bad as Ronnie does.

No he does'nt.  Just a good businessman. He came up with Cabo Wabo tequilla(damn good stuff). Then sold it for a small fortune. Plus you haven't seen him in the police blotters lately have you. He managed to put up with the seriously deranged Eddie Van Halen and came out ok....Not saying he's gonna be the Stones next guitarist. But dude is pretty savvy and a rock & roll survivor. Still managing to run his career on his own terms.

sweetcharmedlife wrote on Dec 5^th, 2009 at 9:39pm:

Heart Of Stone wrote on Dec 5th, 2009 at 7:31pm: I just saw Sammy Hagar on T.V. a contender? oh no, he drinks as bad as Ronnie does. No he does'nt.  Just a good businessman. He came up with Cabo Wabo tequilla(damn good stuff). Then sold it for a small fortune. Plus you haven't seen him in the police blotters lately have you. He managed to put up with the seriously deranged Eddie Van Halen and came out ok....Not saying he's gonna be the Stones next guitarist. But dude is pretty savvy and a rock & roll survivor. Still managing to run his career on his own terms.

I didn't know he came up with that Tequilla brand, on the T.V. show he was playing in his own club, the guy from Much music was trying to interview him, he came to mind because he & Ronnie Montrose was in the same band-Montrose.

BILL PERKS wrote on Dec 4^th, 2009 at 8:12pm:

not funny

I agree, probably the worst article from The Spoof so far

How about Ronnie Corbett?

Ronnie Barker, at this time, would be preferable to Ronnie Wood.

Ronnie's bad behavior fits the Stones perfectly.

He ain't going nowhere.

I got the perfect spot for him.

"Celebrity rehab with Dr. Drew".

corgi37 wrote on Dec 9^th, 2009 at 5:17am:

I got the perfect spot for him. "Celebrity rehab with Dr. Drew".

"Be on rehab for the rest of his life with Dr Drew?"
Might be a cure for our poor poor Ronnie now so helpless and hopeless?
Jo wont go back with him..
But the Stones I think arent to going to fire him

Yeah, Ronnie would be right for that rehab program, but I don't think he wants to get sober, alcoholism is something that's a person for the rest of their lives, & he needs A.A.
Now they have sex rehab, & one of the people who were in drug rehab, now is in sex rehab, I'll tell you one person who could be in sex rehab, is Tiger Woods, even that Dr. Drew was talking about Tiger's sex addiction on T.V.

Anyway.. he will die soon. B/c he wont be cured.. sure he will be gone.
Without the AA help, and it has to start from himself first, if not doesnt works..
With no more his wife near, and anything else..
Doesnt care to him live or die. Drink is always the best escape. Skip it!
My brother had died. The next jan it will be twenty years.
I do not stand who drink. At least so much. For WHAT?
and  all his money doens t serve to him so much.