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http://rocksoff.org/cgi-bin/messageboard/YaBB.pl GENERAL >> MAIN BOARD >> Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice? http://rocksoff.org/cgi-bin/messageboard/YaBB.pl?num=1214332318 Message started by TenThousandMotels on Jun 24^th, 2008 at 1:31pm

Title: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by TenThousandMotels on Jun 24^th, 2008 at 1:31pm

Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
June 24th, 2008 at 11:30 by C J Davies
Hecklerspray.com

It's difficult to imagine what sort of corporate environment Heather Mills would flourish within - Widely Despised Monoped GoldDiggers Inc, perhaps, or Beatle Fleecers PLC.

That hasn't stopped suspiciously-haired zillionaire Donald Trump from name-dropping Ms. Mills in relation to the new series of US show The Celebrity Apprentice, however.

After the last batch of episodes featured such luminaries as Lennox Lewis, Piers Morgan, Gene Simmons and that bloke who was shot on a boat in The Sopranos, Trump has confirmed that several wannabes have been angling for a slot in the new run… and that the ex-Ms. McCartney was among them.

Trump waffled thus:

"Because The Apprentice did so well last time around, lots of people want to be on it. Including Heather Mills. We start shooting in four weeks. The names will be revealed then."

Should Mills take part, she'll be required to give any winnings to a charity of her choice, which will no doubt increase the time she spends campaigning from 23 hours a day to 37, thereby tearing a rip in the fabric of time and possibility that may well affect the strip lighting mechanics over at Trump Towers.

Seems a bit unfair, to be honest - giving all that cash away when her poor five-year-old daughter is trying desperately to survive on a diet of twigs, moss and collected rainwater. Or was that £36,000-per-year? We can never remember.

Anyway - as the D-Man said - the show enters production in a month or so, which is presumably when you can expect to see Heather taking part in embarrassing corporate stunts and hawking arbitrary products on QVC. Which - in some parallel non-Beatle-marrying universe - she's been doing for the last six years anyway.

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by sirmoonie on Jun 24^th, 2008 at 1:45pm

WTF? Boy George gets denied a Visa and you come up with this Heather Mills nonsense? You are slipping Mote. Slippage. Drain range. Spasmo. Bifurcated.

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by gimmekeef on Jun 24^th, 2008 at 3:37pm

Hopefully in Episode One when she's fired she will smack that fuckwad with the stupid hair across the top of his head with her pegleg.....

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by Some Guy on Jun 24^th, 2008 at 3:54pm

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by Joey on Jun 24^th, 2008 at 4:56pm

" You are slipping Mote. Slippage. Drain range. Spasmo. Bifurcated "

Tell Me about it !!!!!

" This is insane
All you did was say hello
Speak my name
Feeling your love
Like a love I used to know
Long ago.

How can it be
You're a different space and time
Come to me.
Feel like I'm home
In a place I used to know
Long ago
Deja vu -
Could you be the dream that I once knew
Is it you
Deja vu -
Could you be the dream that might come true
Shining through

I keep remembering me
I keep remembering you
Deja vu
This is devine
I've been waiting all my life
Filling time
Looking for you
Nights were more than you could know
Long ago

Come to me now
We don't have to dream of love
We know how
Somewhere before
It's as if I've loved you so
So long ago
Deja vu -
Could you be the dream that I once knew
Is it you
Deja vu -
Could you be the dream that might come true?
Shining through
I keep remembering me
I keep remembering you
Deja vu "

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by Joey on Jun 24^th, 2008 at 5:19pm

" Functional outlet obstruction is another cause of constipation, and results when the pelvic muscle floor (link to pelvic floor section) and the anal sphincter (the circular muscle around the rectum) are unable to coordinate effectively to properly evacuate the bowel. Anorectal manometry is used to diagnose spasm of the anal sphincter. Defecograhphy may also be helpful in evaluating ano-rectal function. This is an unpleasant test in which x-ray paste is placed in the rectum and x-ray pictures are taken during defecation. Treatment of this condition is usually with biofeedback. "

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by mojoman on Jun 24^th, 2008 at 5:22pm

did you know that heather was a hooker? :aimama

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by Joey on Jun 24^th, 2008 at 5:26pm

" did you know that heather was a hooker? "

Frig Yeah !!!

http://beatlesnumber9.com/millsnude.html

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by TenThousandMotels on Jun 24^th, 2008 at 5:43pm

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by Joey on Jun 25^th, 2008 at 9:17am

" George gets denied a Visa and you come up with this Heather Mills nonsense? You are slipping Mote. Slippage. Drain range. Spasmo. Bifurcated "

Moonie ...............................

This is some outstanding writing --- the word ' bifurcated ' is a favorite of your young Joey's as it correlates religosity with a sensate feeling of ......... wait .... what is that noise I am hearing ?! :

**** Organ now begins Bubbling in the Background *****

Hmmmmm ! ... Something is going on ....... does anybody ELSE hear what I am hearing ..... ?! ...... You do not suppose it is .... ?! .... YES !!!!! :

|
|
V

***** Organ now gains strength and resonates throughout the board *****

" And we pray to our Lord
Who we know is American
He reigns from on high
He speaks to us through middlemen
And he shepherds his flock
We sing out and we praise His name
He supports us in war ( Iraq )
He presides over football games
And the right wing will prevail
All our troubles shall be resolved
We have faith in the Lord
Unless there's money or sex involved

Frail grasp on the big picture
Nobody's calling them for roughing up the pitcher (?)
It's a frail grasp on the big picture
Heaven help us

Frail grasp on the big picture
All waiting for that miracle elixir
Frail grasp on the big picture
I don't wonder anymore

Frail grasp on the big picture
Somebody says, "You brought her here so go ahead and kiss her
Frail grasp on the big picture

Frail grasp on the big picture
Light fading and the fog is getting thicker
It's a frail grasp on the big picture

Frail grasp on the big picture
Frail grasp on the big picture ..... "

***** Organ fades into background .....like a Dying Clown ******

Joey Henley !!!!

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by Joey on Jun 28^th, 2008 at 10:44am

http://www.youporn.com/watch/61357/amazing-gpoint/

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by BONOISLOVE on Jun 29^th, 2008 at 12:37pm

My sources indicate me that Yoko (aka the "Yo-Yo") wil have major stomach pain this year. Please, be careful Yo-Yo; don't eat what you can't swallow
.

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by Joey on Jun 29^th, 2008 at 5:29pm

" My sources indicate me that Yoko (aka the "Yo-Yo") wil have major stomach pain this year. "

** ? **

********** WTF ?! **********************

******* You make Joey say , huh ?! ************

Why ?!

J'Lo

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by glencar on Jun 29^th, 2008 at 6:28pm

I've read that NBC turned Heather down as far as being a competitor but she might show up as one of the tasks. Let's hope it doesn't involve that odd leg!

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by Joey on Jun 30^th, 2008 at 10:06am

" Let's hope it doesn't involve that odd leg "

Blue ...

Why was Heather a hooker ?!

Why ?!

WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?! WHY ?! ... WHY ?!

|
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V

...why ?!

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by Gazza on Jun 30^th, 2008 at 10:27am

wrote on Jun 29^th, 2008 at 6:28pm:

I've read that NBC turned Heather down as far as being a competitor but she might show up as one of the tasks. Let's hope it doesn't involve that odd leg!

Ach, she's well prepared just in case...

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by Joey on Jun 30^th, 2008 at 10:39am

" Ach, she's well prepared just in case...

"

Funny !!!!

Gazza ...... that is Brazen Head Postin '

www.BrazenHeadPub.com

J'Kins ! ™

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by glencar on Jun 30^th, 2008 at 1:40pm

Joey wrote on Jun 30^th, 2008 at 10:06am:

You gotta stop this shit. I'm gonna leave for Shidddoooobbbbbeeeeee..........................

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by Joey on Jun 30^th, 2008 at 1:48pm

" You gotta stop this shit. I'm gonna leave for Shidddoooobbbbbeeeeee.......................... "

What ?!

" The Jew !!! "

" Scattered by God's avenging hand, afflicted and forlorn,
Sad wanderers from their pleasant Land, do Judah's children mourn;
and e'en in Christian countries, few breathe thoughts of pity for the Jew.

Yet listen, Gentile, do you love the Bible's precious page?
Then let your heart with kindness move to Israel's heritage;
who traced those lines of love for you?
Each sacred writer was a Jew.

And then as years and ages passed, and Nations rose and fell,
though clouds and darkness oft were cast o'er captive Israel
the oracles of God for you were kept in safety by the Jew.

And when the great Redeemer came for guilty man to bleed.
He did not take an angel's name, no, born of Abraham's seed,
Jesus, who gave His life for you -
the gentle Saviour - was a Jew.

And though His own received Him not, and turned in pride away,
whence is the Gentile's happier lot? Are you more just than they?
No! God in pity turned to you - have you no pity for the Jew?

Go then, and bend you knee to pray for Israel's ancient race;
ask the dear Saviour every day to call them by His grace.
Go, for a debt of love is due
from Christian Gentiles to the Jew. "

- Author Unknown ( ..but we BELIEVE Pastor Baby Steelie )

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by Some Guy on Jun 30^th, 2008 at 1:51pm

VAN HALEN Set To Celebrate Québec City's 400th Anniversary; Event To Be Filmed For DVD?

Sunday, June 29, 2008 at 10:42:20 EST

As previously reported, the Québec City Summer Festival (Le Festival d’été de Québec), in conjunction with the Société du 400e anniversaire de Québec have booked hard rock legends VAN HALEN to kick off the festivities on Thursday, July 3rd.

Van Halen has been taping shows in 2008 for a Live DVD release, expected to be on store shelves before X-mas.

Here's the expected Van Halen setlist for Québec City on July 3rd (in order): 'You Really Got Me', 'I'm the One', 'Runnin' With the Devil', 'Romeo Delight', 'Somebody Get Me a Doctor', 'Beautiful Girls', 'Dance the Night Away', 'Atomic Punk', 'Everybody Wants Some', 'So This Is Love?', 'Mean Street', 'Pretty Woman', 'Drum Solo', 'Unchained', 'I'll Wait', 'And the Cradle Will Rock', 'Hot for Teacher', 'Little Dreamer', 'Little Guitars', 'Jamie's Cryin'', 'Ice Cream Man', 'Panama', 'Guitar Solo', 'Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love'. Encore: '1984', 'Jump'.

The 400th anniversary of the founding of Québec City is being commemorated this year.

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by glencar on Jun 30^th, 2008 at 2:03pm

What's the celebration part?

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by Joey on Jun 30^th, 2008 at 2:22pm

" What's the celebration part ? "

1. ) Baby Joshy's return to ' Rocks Off '

2. ) site closure of : www.Maxlugar.com

** YES !! **

Baby 'kins !

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by glencar on Jun 30^th, 2008 at 4:34pm

Neither is going to happen, my name & address posting "pal"!

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by Some Guy on Jun 30^th, 2008 at 4:37pm

I wish jb would quit being such a butthead.

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by Joey on Jun 30^th, 2008 at 4:43pm

" I wish jb would quit being such a butthead "

That is my Jewish Brother you are talking about ( D.J. Jazzy Joe and the Fresh Prince of Boca Raton ) .

" Hit Me Ronnie ! "

J'kins ! ™

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by Some Guy on Jun 30^th, 2008 at 4:46pm

Joey wrote on Jun 30^th, 2008 at 4:43pm:

" I wish jb would quit being such a butthead "

That is my Jewish Brother you are talking about ( D.J. Jazzy Joe and the Fresh Prince of Boca Raton ) .

" Hit Me Ronnie ! "

J'kins ! ™

he needs to tighten up!

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by glencar on Jun 30^th, 2008 at 4:48pm

I heard Omaha "got wet" last week & is STILL all abuzz about it!

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by Joey on Jun 30^th, 2008 at 5:05pm

" I heard Omaha "got wet" last week & is STILL all abuzz about it! "

The QWEST CENTER Arena was damaged ( facade only ) .

I just sent you pictures of ' The Storm ' . Enjoy .

www.QWESTCENTER.com

Title: Re: Heather Mills To Be Celebrity Apprentice?
Post by glencar on Jun 30^th, 2008 at 5:21pm

Respondez vous, sil vous plait!