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ROCKS OFF - The Rolling Stones Message Board
http://rocksoff.org/cgi-bin/messageboard/YaBB.pl GENERAL >> MAIN BOARD >> Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc) http://rocksoff.org/cgi-bin/messageboard/YaBB.pl?num=1213335722 Message started by Throwaway on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 12:42am

Title: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Throwaway on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 12:42am

Stones new album and tour: Cohl says "Tickets will be less than $50"

Gas prices now below $2.00!

Jagger to open up the "vaults" - Brussels video recording now available

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by stonedinaustralia on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 12:54am

"Adelaide man finds $5,000,000.00 cash in old suit case"

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Edith Grove on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 4:53am

Stones play small venues in new/neglected markets!

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by SweetVirginia on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 5:35am

Rolling Stones to Play 10 Night Stand at Radio City Music Hall

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by corgi37 on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 6:18am

Alien invasion destroys all of humanity

Only Keith Richards survives.

Only thing i just thought of though, is who would be alive to report the story, let alone, print it.

Umm....

Ahh....

Ok...

"2008 is now a memory"

Quite catchy!

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by LadyJane on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 6:54am

SweetVirginia wrote on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 5:35am:

Rolling Stones to Play 10 Night Stand at Radio City Music Hall

"Rolling Stones to play 10 Night Stand at Radio City Music Hall with one FREE and exclusive performance for the dedicated fans of the Rocks Off Message Board. All first class accommodations (including airfare) in New York City will be provided free of charge to this group of people from around the World. Additionally, Michael Cohl will act as personal butler to the Moderators of this fine group, known as The Unholy Trinity"

Too long for a headline???

Okay how about this one:

"Medical Breakthrough: Drinking copious amounts of Vodka found to cure Cancer, restore youth and induce weight loss in women over the age of 45".

LJ.

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Egon on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 7:11am

rarities II in stores now!

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by gimmekeef on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 8:24am

Frantic preparations continue for the Presidential Inauguration for newly elected Keith Richards.The amazing "Draft Keith Movement" culminated in a landslide run off win versus John McCain.President Elect Richards thanked his many voters the night of his historic victory with the now famous words.."Its good to be here..good to be anywhere!"

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Starbuck on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 8:31am

"TTM issues his last poll, "Who has better footwear: Bill Wyman, Keith's butler or a physically abused muppet?"

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Voodoo Chile In Wonderland on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 8:34am

Voodoo joins the Rolling Stones on stage, Stones decide to make him a member

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Voodoo Chile In Wonderland on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 8:35am

corgi37 wrote on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 6:18am:

:whydontcha

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Steel Wheels on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 9:33am

Here's my choice for a headline I'd like to see:

"Philadelphia Phillies-World Series Champions!"

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by gimmekeef on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 9:54am

Steel Wheels wrote on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 9:33am:

Here's my choice for a headline I'd like to see:

"Philadelphia Phillies-World Series Champions!"

In January?..When?? after they beat the Bosox in a best of 147?...But it would be great to see the Phils back on top!

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Starbuck on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 10:14am

gimmekeef wrote on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 9:54am:

Steel Wheels wrote on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 9:33am:

Here's my choice for a headline I'd like to see:

"Philadelphia Phillies-World Series Champions!"

In January?..When?? after they beat the Bosox in a best of 147?...But it would be great to see the Phils back on top!

tug mcgraw lives!

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Joey on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 10:14am

" Stones new album and tour: Cohl says "Tickets will be less than $50"

" Gas prices now below $2.00! "

W- What ?!

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Dateline ...... AP ( 01-01-2009 , sixteen minutes ago : 01:33 CDT ) :

" World Wide Web Regulatory Commission mercifully shuts down www.MaxLugar.com .......... the ' one HIT a day wonder is no more ' .... millions across globe cheer .... developing .................... "

" Hit Me Ronnie ! "

J'Kins ! ™

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Starbuck on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 10:18am

here are some interesting tug mcgraw quotes:

• Asked what he would do with the salary he was making as a pitcher, McGraw said:

"Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste."

• Asked by a reporter whether he preferred real grass or artificial turf, he replied:

"I don't know - I never smoked AstroTurf!"

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Joey on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 10:21am

" Joey Marries Paris Hilton -- Rolling Stones perform at Wedding "

Jacky Hilton !!!!!

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Starbuck on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 10:24am

Joey wrote on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 10:14am:

"

Dateline ...... AP ( 01-01-2009 , sixteen minutes ago : 01:33 CDT ) :

" World Wide Web Regulatory Commission mercifully shuts down www.MaxLugar.com .......... the ' one HIT a day wonder is no more ' .... millions across globe cheer .... developing .................... "

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Child of the Moon on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 10:45am

Gas Prices Make Significant Drop - Nat'l Average Now $1.15.

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Gazza on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 10:58am

Starbuck wrote on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 10:18am:

Stolen from the late, great George Best.

"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered,"

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by mojoman on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 11:05am

gazza will you catch the george bush farewell tour in belfast?

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Riffhard on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 11:07am

"US opens up ten new oil refineries and tap for oil in ANWAR, the Eastern GUlf of Mexico, the Pacific Coast, the Atlantic Coast, and the oil shale deposits in Montanna and North Dakota. Now the USA has more oil than all of Suadi Arabia."

Funnily enough this headline could be true, but it will never happen.

Riffy

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Gazza on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 11:42am

mojoman wrote on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 11:05am:

gazza will you catch the george bush farewell tour in belfast?

LOL..its all been somewhat underwhelming so far. As far as I know, he isnt making any "public" appearances.

He's here on Monday, I think. I'll be coming back from Dublin that morning. No doubt there'll be traffic chaos.

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Gazza on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 11:50am

SweetVirginia wrote on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 5:35am:

Rolling Stones to Play 10 Night Stand at Radio City Music Hall

At least they play RCMH. The day I see a "Rolling Stones to play Belfast for first time since 1965" headline, knowing my luck I'll probably have a cardiac arrest about five seconds later....

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Jeep on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 11:52am

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by monkey_man on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 12:26pm

Riffy Wins Lottery; Finally Votes For His Own Economic Self-Interest ;)

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Riffhard on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 12:30pm

monkey_man wrote on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 12:26pm:

Riffy Wins Lottery; Finally Votes For His Own Economic Self-Interest ;)

LOL! Well I'd be a damned sight better off if I weren't paying $73.00 every time I had to fill my car. That, and of course, the insane taxes that Dems in my state have foisted upon me. There is a very real reason why people are leaving New Jersey like rats from a sinking ship. I call them Democrats, and their ridiculous taxes.

Riffy

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Steel Wheels on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 2:03pm

Maybe it would help if I read a little closer!

On January 1, 2009 I would like the headlines to read,"Peace and Love cover the globe once and for all."

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by gimmekeef on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 2:11pm

Who knew she was a crack whore too?

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by LadyJane on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 2:14pm

"President Elect Hillary Rodham Clinton nominates Riffhard as Ambassador to the United Nations"

lmfao

I like this thread

LJ.

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Starbuck on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 2:21pm

Jan 1 2009: "First lady elect Michelle Obama caught in drunken fling with local New Jersey DJ"
:aimama :aimama :aimama

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by gimmekeef on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 2:34pm

"Rocks Off Regular Joey Weds Paris Hilton"

In a prenup Paris agrees to take Gary Coleman along on the honeymmon.

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by monkey_man on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 2:41pm

Slavegirl Breaks Down And Takes Hef Up On His Offer

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by open-g on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 2:44pm

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by gimmekeef on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 2:46pm

"The Cleveland Browns fire coach Romeo Crennel after a disastrous 2-14 season which foreseen as being a contender at last" Winslow stud vows to never appear again and heeps his word"

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by mojoman on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 2:59pm

Steel Wheels wrote on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 2:03pm:

Maybe it would help if I read a little closer!

On January 1, 2009 I would like the headlines to read,"Peace and Love cover the globe once and for all."

is that you elvis costello?

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by glencar on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 9:29pm

Starbuck wrote on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 8:31am:

"TTM issues his last poll, "Who has better footwear: Bill Wyman, Keith's butler or a physically abused muppet?"

SPOT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by glencar on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 9:31pm

Jeep wrote on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 11:52am:

Gee, and I usually like your mock-ups!

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Glimmer Twin on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 11:01pm

John McCain preparing to be sworn in as 44th US President. :)

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by mojoman on Jun 14^th, 2008 at 6:15pm

monkey_man wrote on Jun 13^th, 2008 at 2:41pm:

Slavegirl Breaks Down And Takes Hef Up On His Offer

:perverted

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Joey on Jun 15^th, 2008 at 7:19pm

" John McCain preparing to be sworn in as 44th US President. "

You make Joey sad .

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by gimmekeef on Jun 16^th, 2008 at 2:29pm

"After 1217 playoff holes Rocco Mediate defeats Tiger Woods by one in the 2008 US Open"

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Joey on Jun 16^th, 2008 at 4:43pm

"Rocks Off Regular Joey Weds Paris Hilton"

In a prenup Paris agrees to take Gary Coleman along on the honeymmon "

!!!!!!!!

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Ade on Jun 19^th, 2008 at 2:39am

Joey wrote on Jun 16^th, 2008 at 4:43pm:

"Rocks Off Regular Joey Weds Paris Hilton"

In a prenup Paris agrees to take Gary Coleman along on the honeymmon "

!!!!!!!!

lol!!! :smile

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by CatsBanquet on Jun 23^rd, 2008 at 9:39am

Hyde Park II broadcast in the world on giants screens, then a world Stones party. :keithpunky

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by glencar on Jun 23^rd, 2008 at 11:18am

Dream on!

Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by Joey on Jun 23^rd, 2008 at 4:36pm

" ........................ dream on . "

I have a dream ..................................................... !!! :

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Title: Re: Headlines You'd Like To See Jan 1, 2009 (ssc)
Post by robpop on Jun 23^rd, 2008 at 6:29pm

gimmekeef wrote on Jun 16^th, 2008 at 2:29pm:

"After 1217 playoff holes Rocco Mediate defeats Tiger Woods by one in the 2008 US Open"

How many cases is that?