Update: What it seems I got right. And wrong.
I had indicated earlier that the biggest goal of this drama was, by using
hard evidence that had been gathered by Mick's people, to coerce Melanie's
cooperation in allowing Mick to go on with his life without having to pretend
any longer to be her partner.
About three years ago, shortly after Mick's very brief affair with the
ballet dancer, Mick and Noor Alfallah had fallen in love. But fucking hell!
Melanie had entrapped Mick with a pregnancy using his semen in a manner
he absolutely had not intended.
(For a more detailed look at Melanie's motivations, you may want to
check out my long Shidoobee post entitled "A Star is Stillborn".
In addition to Mick and Melanie, it features relevant appearances
by Prince and Misty Copeland)
Mick and Noor decided on the difficult path of keeping their romance
mostly secret until Melanie had recovered from her pregnancy and
both Mel and Dev could feel secure as members of the extended Jagger clan.
When the boy was about 18 months old Mick and Noor began to slightly
come out of the closet about their relationship, thus slightly pressuring
Melanie to give up her fantasies and face the facts of where she stood
with Mick.
But it quickly became clear that Melanie had no intention of gracefully
giving up her pretend-status as Mick's "partner" but instead was going
to use Dev to essentially blackmail Mick into doing what she wanted.
That is: to make Mel very rich and famous as Mick's supposedly adored
one-and-only. Mel went so far as to (in my opinion, based on one particular
photo) threaten suicide if he dumped her. This obviously also constituted
a threat to Dev's life.
Can you imagine what Mick would have had to go through if another nutcase
girlfriend of his offed herself? And potentially Mick's child too? Because
of what would have been painted by the media as his "cruel infidelity".
Even if Mick guessed Mel was only bluffing, he couldn't afford to call
that bluff.
So Mick and Noor again had to cool it. They had to put on a big show of
"breaking it off". With Noor even pictured with other "boyfriends".
And Mick had to convince Melanie that he had changed his ways and was
not only going to be (publically) loyal to her but was also going to put
in a proper effort to make her a big star.
Thus was born a twin-pronged approach: 1) convince Melanie that a
Stones ballet was just the ticket to get her on the road to the stardom
she had always craved, and 2) use a tour postponement drama to accomplish
the exact opposite, to rid himself of her.
All of this I'm pretty sure I got right. What it looks like I got wrong
was overestimating how difficult and risky it would be to secure Melanie's
cooperation with this cover story. I was afraid she was full-on black-swan-
crazy and so it would take months before, with the help of medical
authorities, the threats posed by Melanie could be completely neutralized.
And this was a legit fear. That's why there was this contingency for a
second postponement drama, to be caused by Melanie suddenly running off
with a young ballet hunk and leaving Mick and Dev "devastated".
But, in just the last two weeks, during Mel's unprecedented social media
silence, as Melanie and her lawyers reviewed the evidence and saw just how
easy it was going to be to bring Melanie to complete ruin, Melanie gave up
the crazy shit and did some hard negotiating, apparently signing a new deal.
To escape big penalties (which she certainly deserves), she would give up
all claims on Mick and Dev (except for PR purposes) and she would, for the
next few years, live a life very closely supervised by Mick's people. Perhaps
hardest of all, she would give up on Fame. In return, if she fulfilled her
new role, she would get a big windfall, an absolute shitload of money (which
she certainly does NOT deserve, but which still represents a bargain for Mick
in terms of his freedom).
In summary: a very strange twisted win-win in a real-life game of thrones.
And so: we don't necessarily any longer need the second postponent drama now.
Perhaps now, after "trying and failing" to get workable summer/autumn dates,
things will simply shift to the always-intended real dates in Spring 2020.
As part of her new role, Melanie will appear at the right time with a new
pretend-boyfriend, so that then Mick and Noor can finally come out of the shadows
and get married. For the media and most fans everything will seem quite amicable
between exes Mick and Melanie.
(And Mick will never need to confirm or deny the heart problem. Never thank or
identify any specific doctor or hospital. But people will still believe he had
surgery, because that's what "sources" have told them to believe)
Mick AND Keith can then do a properly HUGE version of Satisfaction with Taylor Swift
and her band at Super Bowl 2020. And then, at last, proper marketing of their US tour.
And then we can finally get motherfucking rock and roll back on the road again.
Opening show opening song: They're really rocking in Boston/ In Pittsburgh, P.A./
Deep in the heart of Texas/ all 'round Biscayne Bay/ All over St. Louis/ Way down
in New Orleans/ All the cats wanna dance with/ Sweet Little Sixteen
(Good film script, right? Even better than Bohemian Rhapsody i think. But feel
free to suggest changes/edits)