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ROCKS OFF - The Rolling Stones Message Board › GENERAL › MAIN BOARD › I became a widow Nov. 27th

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I became a widow Nov. 27th (Read 6,865 times)

Freya Gin

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I became a widow Nov. 27th
Nov 29^th, 2016 at 3:43am

My husband was only 55.

I can't imagine life without him. Every little thing I see or hear reminds me of him. I'm still in shock. I can't believe this has happened.

He took sick a month ago and just got worse every day. We were told that it was his liver. It may surprise you (it did me!) to learn that you don't have to abuse alcohol to get liver cirrhosis. They were going to run tests on the 1st but he didn't make it. They think that liver failure caused his other organs to start shutting down, including his heart. That was what killed him.

He just caught a bad cold a month ago. He seemed fine before that. His cousin theorizes that he had more wrong with him and didn't let me know so as not to worry me. He's probably right. Thus I was caught completely unprepared for this.

I'm staying at friend's house. I'm having trouble going back to our apartment where he died. My friend says that the funeral will help me get closure. I don't want closure. I want him back.

God, I can't believe this. 2016 has been the absolute worst year. My whole life is in ruins.

Like I told another friend, remember to appreciate it when someone says they love you. They might not be around to say it again before you know it.

BDSM in Classic Rock thread

"The best thing to be is bisexual, then you got a shot at everybody." -Rodney Dangerfield

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Irina Rocks Off Regular Offline Rocks Off Rules You Bastards Posts: 4,156	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #1 - Nov 29^th, 2016 at 7:56am it's impossible to find any right words in such situation - all words seem so useless and so helpless........ my best thoughts and prayers are with You
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Voodoo Chile in Wonderland Unholy Trinity Admin Offline The Stones are back you bastards!!!! Posts: 15,990 Wonderland Gender:	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #2 - Nov 29^th, 2016 at 8:00am Dear Freja, so sorry for your loss, my most sincere condolences; be strong, life is sometimes a bitch but it continues
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Voodoo Chile in Wonderland Unholy Trinity Admin Offline The Stones are back you bastards!!!! Posts: 15,990 Wonderland Gender:	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #3 - Nov 29^th, 2016 at 8:06am
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andrews27 Rocks Off Regular Offline Wake up Bowie or we all through!! Posts: 1,595 Pittsburgh, PA, USA Gender:	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #4 - Nov 29^th, 2016 at 8:09am Like I told another friend, remember to appreciate it when someone says they love you. They might not be around to say it again before you know it. Believe me, I know how this goes. Others will feel it when I am gone. It is important, above all, that we did love, and we were loved. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Egon Rocks Off Regular Offline LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLLING STONES Posts: 1,881 A Dutchy in Marseille, France Gender:	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #5 - Nov 29^th, 2016 at 9:29am I' m so sorry Freya. Take good care.
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Joey I Have No Life! Offline Posts: 20,251 Omaha , NE Gender:	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #6 - Nov 29^th, 2016 at 9:42am I am so sorry for your loss . I offer my heartfelt condolences .
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MrPleasant Rocks Off Regular Offline Posts: 2,677 Xalapa, Veracruz, México Gender:	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #7 - Nov 29^th, 2016 at 10:50am My condolences and sympathy to you and your dearest ones.
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sweetcharmedlife Agent Provocateur Offline Do the horrendous to that if you can Posts: 11,931 San Mateo Gender:	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #8 - Nov 29^th, 2016 at 3:38pm Thoughts and prayers for you.
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Tom Rocks Off Regular Offline Rocks Off Rules You Bastards Posts: 556 US Gender:	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #9 - Nov 29^th, 2016 at 3:40pm so sorry for your loss Freja!
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Bluzdude Rocks Off Regular Offline I'm here-that's all that matters. Rocks Off Rules! Posts: 439 Los Angeles Gender:	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #10 - Nov 29^th, 2016 at 3:46pm So sorry to hear Freya, My prayers and thoughts are with you.
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Gazza Unholy Trinity Admin Offline Rat Bastid "We piss anywhere, man.." Posts: 13,170 Belfast, UK Gender:	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #11 - Nov 29^th, 2016 at 4:38pm Good God. Thats shocking. My deepest condolences. xo
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Freya Gin

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Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th
Reply #12 - Nov 29^th, 2016 at 5:10pm

Thank all of you guys. I'm having a hard time dealing, to be honest. He went down so fast that I was just completely unprepared. I keep making mental notes to tell him something and then I remember that he's gone. I keep finding myself in tears again and I'm not usually the weepy type. He was all I had. I have no family except for a half-sister who got hold of me today. I hadn't heard from her in 15 years. and after everything else that happened this year, I'm not sure how to even go on from here. Right now all I can do is try to get the funeral out of the way and then worry about money, as I have very little left. I still don't know what I'm going to do right now.

BDSM in Classic Rock thread

"The best thing to be is bisexual, then you got a shot at everybody." -Rodney Dangerfield

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mojoman Rocks Off Regular Offline HMERLS Posts: 6,528 joyzee Gender:	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #13 - Nov 29^th, 2016 at 8:22pm so sorry for your loss.
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Bitch

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Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th
Reply #14 - Nov 29^th, 2016 at 9:00pm

So sorry for your loss. OK I went through something similar a few years back, was in love with the most wonderful man in the world, he was diagnosed with lymphoma and he died a short time later. Total shock. Shook my world. I asked his mother how she was able to survive losing a husband and two sons. She said to me "focus on the living" so that's what I used as my mantra to get through it. Redirect your focus, it helps. Not to minimize your loss, just a suggestion, it might help you.

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WaiteringOnAFiend Rocks Off Regular Offline Rocks Off Rules You Bastards Posts: 1,426	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #15 - Nov 30^th, 2016 at 2:49am Oh blimey. Colossal condolences and all best wishes, F.
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FotiniD Rocks Off Regular Offline ROCC & RO..ll... Posts: 998 Athens, Greece Gender:	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #16 - Nov 30^th, 2016 at 3:58am So sorry for your loss Freya.
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lavendar Rocks Off Regular Offline Rocks Off Rules You Bastards Posts: 1,074 Buffalo,NY Gender:	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #17 - Nov 30^th, 2016 at 11:19pm Life is so finite. Saddened for you, Amen
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gorda Rocks Off Regular Offline Rocks Off Rules You Bastards Posts: 1,131 Gender:	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #18 - Dec 1^st, 2016 at 10:22pm My sincerest condolences. My prayers are with you during this difficult time.
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Kilroy Rocks Off Regular Offline I love this place! Posts: 2,860 Mickville Virginny USA Gender:	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #19 - Dec 1^st, 2016 at 11:43pm My family prays for you to have strength during this awful time. It is my belief we will all be together again.Pray and God will hear them. Peace.
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LadyJane Rocks Off Regular Offline Stones Purist Posts: 4,928 Gender:	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #20 - Dec 2^nd, 2016 at 5:05am My sincerest condolences Freya. May your memories bring you comfort and "may the Good Lord shine a light on you".
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Freya Gin

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Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th
Reply #21 - Dec 6^th, 2016 at 4:10am

They put him in the ground Thursday.

Today is the first day I've gotten through without crying. I still find myself just stunned at times when it hits me again that's he's really dead. Yesterday was the first night since his death that I went home and stayed the night; I'd been staying with different people until then, first my friend and then my sister. I don't know if I should count it as a bright side or not but the news of his death brought forth a few of my relatives. It had been so many years since I had seen them (15) that I didn't even recognize my cousin. I only recognized my sister because we've come to look so much alike.

I have no idea what I'm going to do for money right now. I don't have much and still don't know how much his life insurance is worth. Fucking Amazon cancelled my health insurance just three days after his death. A friend of my landlady seems ceratin that I qualify for disability though I'm not so sure. I saw how long it took my mother to get it even after she'd had a triple bypass and virtually lived off of her bottle of Nitro pills.

My husband's cousin speculated that he had may have had health issues that he hid from me. He may be right. Well, in that case then he wasn't the only one keeping secrets. I never told anyone that my own heart has been bothering me for a while. I was afraid that it would get back to my husband if I told anyone. Also, I guess I was in denial. But there's no denying it now and no need. It's gotten worse since his death. My sister also has a bad heart and had to take a Nitro the night of his funeral. Seeing that brought back all those memories of watching my mom go through that for years. I'm not going to let my heart be treated. I'll be better off if it kills me as opposed to going through all that. I have no close family besides my sister and I wouldn't describe our relationship as close. My mom had me and her own mother to live for. I have no one now.

Thank all of you for condolences and well wishes. Also, thanks for putting up with the rantings of a crazy, kinky old nympho like me. (I still find it weird how many Stones fans can be so intolerant of the pervy and hyprsexed.) I can only get online now when i visit my friend so I don't know ho often I'll be here or for how long. In any case, wish me luck.

BDSM in Classic Rock thread

"The best thing to be is bisexual, then you got a shot at everybody." -Rodney Dangerfield

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Bitch

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Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th
Reply #22 - Dec 6^th, 2016 at 8:02pm

Good luck and try to have some hope for your future, as sad as you might be now you will have to move on and be hopeful that your life isn't going to fall to pieces, but you will find a way to be happy again. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to make more changes, take your time and do it in your own time. So you better come back and post here!

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Freya Gin

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They'll Never Make a Saint
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Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th
Reply #23 - Dec 7^th, 2016 at 7:29pm

Well, I haven't had chest pains in a few days now. I don't know for sure that there's anything wrong with my heart. It could be just gas. However, I saw my mother several times having some kind of cardiac pain and dismiss it as gas. My husband did the same. He died with a Tums in his mouth, in fact. I had realized at the end that his heart was giving out on him and was trying to get him to the ER when it happened. So I don't really know what all is going on with me and it's really the fact that I've had such poor medical care for to many years that I've gotten in such bad shape. All of the medical insurance I've ever had were really rip-offs, costing too damn much and providing too little coverage. Whether or not I'll get the chance to get some good medical care is up for debate at the moment. The future doesn't seem hopeless but it isn't looking too bright either.

BDSM in Classic Rock thread

"The best thing to be is bisexual, then you got a shot at everybody." -Rodney Dangerfield

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Bitch Rocks Off Regular Offline I always get my Rocks Off! Posts: 4,900 FL - USA Gender:	Re: I became a widow Nov. 27th Reply #24 - Dec 11^th, 2016 at 9:51am I hear ya about the insurance companies, total rip-offs. Sorry about your health, but try to hang in there! You cant give up hope.
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