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The Joke Thread (Read 3,419 times)
Some Guy
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The Joke Thread
May 12th, 2008 at 9:25am
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Heard any good ones lately?
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Heart Of Stone
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Rocks Off Rules

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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #1 - May 12th, 2008 at 10:17am
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A cop pulls over a woman driver, asks "Lady have you been drinking?" in which she replies "Why, you buying?"
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The Rolling Stones ain't just a group, their a way of life-Andrew Loog Oldham.
......[URL=http://s6.photobucket.com/user/merrillm123/media/69inLA.jpg.html]
WWW Merrill Moran  
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sirmoonie
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #2 - May 12th, 2008 at 11:51am
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Its a knick knack Patty Whack, give that frog a loan.  His old man's a Rolling Stone!
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"But in terms of what's left of white people, we're still it." - Andrew Moof Oldham
 
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gimmekeef
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #3 - May 12th, 2008 at 2:08pm
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Horse walks into a bar and the concerned bartender says."Hey fellow why the long face?"
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"Runnin Like A Cat In A Thunderstorm"
 
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #4 - May 12th, 2008 at 2:32pm
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" Heard any good ones lately? "

The Beatles...
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Some Guy
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #5 - May 12th, 2008 at 2:39pm
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a man a horse and a monkey walk into a bar- the bartender looks and up and says what is this a joke?
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #6 - May 12th, 2008 at 3:14pm
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a joke walks out of a bar....
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sirmoonie
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #7 - May 12th, 2008 at 3:19pm
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Jesus was a white guy!
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"But in terms of what's left of white people, we're still it." - Andrew Moof Oldham
 
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #8 - May 12th, 2008 at 3:33pm
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sirmoonie wrote on May 12th, 2008 at 3:19pm:
Jesus was a white guy!



Hahaha!
Grin Grin Grin
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #9 - May 12th, 2008 at 3:57pm
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Joey, try that new higher fiber cereal- colon blow.
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SweetVirginia
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #10 - May 12th, 2008 at 6:48pm
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A psychiatrist checks his schedule and sees that a new patient is coming in.

When the man arrives, he enters the office completely naked, except for the fact that he's wrapped knees-to-neck in Saran Wrap.

The shrink looks at him and says, "I can clearly see yer nuts."
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...&&&&&&
 
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Kilroy
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #11 - May 12th, 2008 at 6:53pm
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Wink Blank Frigging Stare War horses couldn't drag me away
How about this:
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The Core Of The Rolling Stones is Charlie Watts Hi-Hat/The Sunshine Bores The Daylights Out Of Me/And Then We Became Naked/After the Skeet Shoot & Sweet Dreams Mary & #9 11/22/1968 @#500 2/19/2010 @#800 4/09/2011 @#888 10/28/2011 @#1000 2/2/12
 
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #12 - May 12th, 2008 at 7:12pm
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Puke all over me (wait that is BLEED)Did You know that Kurt Cobain had realy bad dandruff?
Yes, they found his 'Head and Shoulders' behind the couch.
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"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side."
 
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Do the horrendous to that
if you can

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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #13 - May 12th, 2008 at 7:35pm
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What do Roger Clemens and a tortoise have in common?......They both get there before the hair.
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I'll shoot it to you straight and look you in the eye
So gimme just a minute and I'll tell you why
 
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #14 - May 12th, 2008 at 8:16pm
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sirmoonie wrote on May 12th, 2008 at 11:51am:
Its a knick knack Patty Whack, give that frog a loan.  His old man's a Rolling Stone!


well played moonism- I just got that!
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #15 - May 13th, 2008 at 1:18am
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Two men walked into a bar.

The third ducked.
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #16 - May 13th, 2008 at 7:39am
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" What do Roger Clemens and a tortoise have in common?......They both get there before the hair  "



FUNNY !!!!!


'kins ! , Est. 1999
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...&&&&D.J. Jazzy Joe and the Fresh Prince of Boca Raton !™&& *** " VICTORY !!!! " ***...
 
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #17 - May 13th, 2008 at 1:19pm
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The Onion on Jenna Bush's marriage:

"It was good her dad could get down there 65 times over the last eight years and clean up some of that brush for the wedding."
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Only a crowd can make you feel so alone.
 
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Silence is golden, Duct
tape is silver

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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #18 - May 14th, 2008 at 9:03pm
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It was a tough time, you know.
Six years without sex and drugs and rock'n roll...

...but then I was sent to school.
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"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side."
 
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #19 - May 17th, 2008 at 9:55pm
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Here's one for ya all.  What does former President Bill Clinton and Bin Laden have in common?  They both sleep in a different bed each night! Grin Tongue  I got more where that came from.
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #20 - May 18th, 2008 at 6:52am
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Ted Kennedy started seeing a new young woman.  The young woman's father asked Kennedy: "What are your intentions toward my daughter."  Replied Kennedy: "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."
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"But in terms of what's left of white people, we're still it." - Andrew Moof Oldham
 
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #21 - May 18th, 2008 at 9:57am
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sirmoonie wrote on May 18th, 2008 at 6:52am:
Ted Kennedy started seeing a new young woman.  The young woman's father asked Kennedy: "What are your intentions toward my daughter."  Replied Kennedy: "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."


That stale old joke is worth...
Nolte - The Rocks Off patron saint Nolte - The Rocks Off patron saint
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #22 - May 18th, 2008 at 3:14pm
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sirmoonie wrote on May 18th, 2008 at 6:52am:
Ted Kennedy started seeing a new young woman.  The young woman's father asked Kennedy: "What are your intentions toward my daughter."  Replied Kennedy: "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."




Ouch!
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"When you change with every new day, still I'm going to miss you, Brian"
 
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #23 - May 19th, 2008 at 7:27pm
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Hillary's next book title:  "Oops!  Sorry - It Really Takes a Concentration Camp..." Kiss my undercover ass
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That guy that punched Mick at Altamont...and all the Hell's Angels...all that bad acid let them hear A Bigger Bang!!
 
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #24 - May 21st, 2008 at 9:10am
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Aren't jokes meant to make you laugh?
Interesting stuff Ronnie!
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LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLLING
STONES

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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #25 - May 21st, 2008 at 10:23am
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...
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Let the Good times Rolling Stones! - Proud member of Rocks off since 2001 ...
...
 
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Re: The Joke Thread
Reply #26 - May 29th, 2008 at 8:45pm
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Chucky the rooster


>An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket agent asked,
"Sir,
> > >what's that on your shoulder?"
> > >The old farmer said, "That's my pet rooster Chucky. Wherever I go,
> Chucky
> > >goes."
> > >"I'm sorry, sir," said the ticket agent. "We can't allow animals in
the
> > >theater." The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the
> > >bird
> down
> > >his pants. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered
> > >the theater. He sat down next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge.
> > >
> > >
> > >The movie started and the rooster began to squirm. The old farmer
> unzipped
> > >his pants so Chucky could stick his head out and watch the movie.
> > >"Marge,"
> > >whispered Mildred. "What?" said Marge. "I think the guy next to me
> > >is
a
> > >pervert." "What makes you think so?" asked Marge. "He unzipped his
> pants
> > >and he has his thing
> > >out," whispered Mildred. "Well, don't worry about it," said Marge.
> > >"At our

> > >age we've seen 'em all."
> > >"That's what I thought, too," said Mildred, "but this one's eating
> > >my popcorn."
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